Uproar /PJM FF

Chapter 3

'Life can sure be scary. At the moment you least expect it, it can give you things or take them away from you. A second you breathe naturally and live your everyday usual life and the next, everything that was surrounding you could be turned into a chaos that terrifies you as you keep looking at it.

How could it be to be part of that chaos? If just the sight is terrifying. Could you even imagine, how overwhelming it is to live such a moment?

I really wish you would never go through that. Make sure you never let your life take control of your heart and soul. You live life. Don't let life use you to live."

The words written on the royal purple notebook had struck your emotions once again, despite the fact that you had re-read them so many times that you remembered them by heart.

Strangely though you had a desire to get back to the diary that your old best friend had left behind for you. Maybe it was because with starting a new job, you had felt as if your life was taking a step forward and you were uncertain if that step was in the direction that you wanted it.

The job wasn't bad but also wasn't what you wanted to be all your life and of course, it was beneficial cause you needed to bring in an income but still the veil of uncertainty stayed inside you, thinking about your decision and if this work would end up sidetracking you from your goals or actually help you reach them.

In moments of doubt as such, you tended to go back to her words often in your head and your memories would even bring back to mind her smiling face and the way she used to pat your back whenever she was to encourage you.

Helena may not be alive anymore, but truth was that her words never died. Not just the ones she had written in that notebook but also the ones she had managed to engrave in your mind.

And every time you were to recall them you tended to feel more grateful than sad as even if she was no longer with you in flesh, she remained in your heart, despite how much time had passed.

You closed the notebook with a smile, feeling slightly better and determined to make the best out of this opportunity, no matter how challenging and complicated it may seem. You proceeded to place it on the shelf of your commode where you used to keep it and then left your room, thinking of passing some time, watching some TV.

As soon as you got to the living room though, you couldn't help but feel a wave of loneliness hit you as your mind traveled to Jungkook.

Your previous roommate didn't use to make his presence too loud and noticeable but the fact that Jungkook was around the house had become something natural and a thing that somehow used to make the atmosphere less cold was he or not in the same room as you.

"Ah, why did he had to move out. They should have just come to live here together" You softly spoke, referring to Jungkook and his girlfriend Areum with which you wouldn't have had any issue if she was to have moved in with Jungkook instead of him moving in with her.

You plopped on the couch and snagged under the blanket you had previously abandoned there, not bothering to actually turn on the TV as you previously planned to do. Instead, you just stayed there in the darkness of the room, thinking about many things and mostly, Jimin.

He sure was a great boyfriend and he hasn't even once not grabbed every chance he got, to show you how much he cares about you, yet here you were, still uncertain about taking a step further in this relationship.

It wasn't the fact that you didn't trust him as you knew that he may have thought, it was mostly because you were scared. It had nothing to do with him and he had done nothing wrong but still, you were scared.