ⁿᵉʷ ᵇᵉᵍⁱⁿⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ | ʲᵉᵒⁿᵍᶜʰᵃⁿ

020

"A car accident? What happened...is...is he okay?" The officer glanced at the doctor, who cleared his throat out of nerves before stating, "Mr. Lee suffered minor injuries, physically. Two broken ribs, that we've wired together so they'll heal fine with some time. He-"

"Wait." Felix cut off the doctor, finally stepping forward. "What do you mean physically?" The doctor glanced between Felix and I, hesitating before responding. "It seems Mr. Lee has suffered some memory loss." "What kind of memory loss? What's 'some' memory loss?" "Mr. Lee, Mr. Yang, I want both of you to understand that memory loss can be temporary, this is most likely not permanent."

"So, he doesn't remember anything?" Felix questioned, concern written on his face as he took my hand in his, squeezing it tightly out of fear. "He doesn't remember the accident, no. He also doesn't remember why he's here, and not in Australia."

"Wait...if Chan...Australia..." I started to put the pieces together, my heart sinking at the realization. Looking up at Felix, my eyes began to water. "Chan doesn't know who I am." "Chan knew you before Australia, he-"

"But he doesn't know me, Felix. I'm just your little friend that you play video games with. I'm not-I'm not his boyfriend. He doesn't know we have a house together, a dog together, a life together."

Felix was trying his best to not break down and cry as he looked back at the doctor who was also trying to keep it together. "Can...Can we see him?" "No."

Felix looked at me, eyes wide, before questioning, "No? You don-" "He doesn't remember me, Felix. I don't," I bit my lip to prevent myself from breaking down in the middle of the hallway. "I can't go in there and pretend that he's not my boyfriend."

"Felix! Jeongin!" Mrs. Lee came rushing down the halls, tear stained cheeks and puffy red eyes. "I came as fast as I could, I-Jeongin." She cupped my face, "Why are you crying so heavily?" Looking down, I backed away and started to walk, "I'll call Hyunjin for a ride home..."

♡♡♡

"So he...he doesn't remember why he's back home?" "He doesn't remember anything..." Hyunjin and I were sitting in the living room of Chan and I's home.

"Jeongin I...These things usually don't last long. His memory will come back." My eyes slowly trailed from the spot on the carpet I've been staring at for the past hour to his puffy eyes. "How do you know?" "I...the doctor said..." We both sat in silence as we silently cried, not knowing what to say or do.

There was a knock on the door before it opened to reveal Felix and Mrs. Lee. "Jeongin? Sweetie?" They both approached Hyunjin and I, Felix taking a seat beside Hyunjin while Mrs. Lee took hers beside me.

"Hey." "Hi, Mrs. Lee." I sniffled, trying my best to keep it together. "Chan's doing good...The doctor suggested we ease him back into the now." I could only nod in response, my eyes fixated on that one spot on the carpet once again.

"Jeongin." Felix spoke softly, "I think his memory will come back. Just by-" "Okay, Felix." I scoffed, standing up from my spot on the couch. "You let me know when his memory comes back." "Jeongin." Mrs. Lee called as I began walking upstairs to Chan and I's shared bedroom.

Crawling under the covers, I let the tears stream down my face. Inhaling the scent of him just made the pain worse. But staying under the covers, inhaling his scent, was the only thing that made me calm down. Ironic, isn't it?

I never wanted to leave the sheets that smelled like him, that gave me comfort like he did.

So I didn't. I remained under the covers for the next four days, just crying and inhaling his scent. I only left to feed and walk Berry. It wasn't until Felix and Mrs. Lee came back over that they pulled me out of bed.

"Jeongin, you can't stay under there. You need to eat. You have school. What about Berry?" "I've been feeding him. He's okay." "And not yourself?" I slowly looked into Felix's eyes, "What's the point?" His eyes softened, pain evident in them as he held onto my shoulders, preventing me from crawling back under the Chan scented covers.

"Chan's being released from the hospital tomorrow." "Okay? And?" "And? That means he's coming home, Jeongin." "With you guys." I pointed out, knowing that this wasn't him home any longer.

Mrs. Lee pushed Felix to the side, gripping my arms quite harshly. "Jeongin. He is not coming home with us. He is coming home. His home is here. With you." I furrowed my brows together, looking into her warm and comforting eyes. "How is this his home if he doesn't remember it."

Her eyes softened and I could tell that that made her hurt too. "The doctor recommended that he come home, to his home, not with us, to help jog his memory. It works in almost every case." "Almost. Almost every." She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and when she opened them back up, I swear I saw god. Because she smacked the hell out of me.

I held my cheek, eyes wide at her actions. "Jeongin, he is coming home, whether you agree with it or not. He is your boyfriend and he is going to remember everything because of you. You're his kryptonite."

I sighed, nodding in agreement. I don't really have a choice but to agree. Mrs. Lee might smack me again if I say otherwise. They both left after I promised to eat some dinner, Felix telling me to call him if I wanted him to order us some take out instead.

Resting against the front door, I sighed to myself. I want to be hopeful, I want to think that him being home will help jog his memory, but I just...I can't.

He's not my Chan and I'm not his Baby Boy. I'm just Jeongin. His brother's best friend.

Tomorrow is going to suck, trying to pretend everything is fine. How am I supposed to talk to the man I love about how this is his life, the life he's made with me, without breaking down and crying because he doesn't remember a single moment of it?