ⁿᵉʷ ᵇᵉᵍⁱⁿⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ | ʲᵉᵒⁿᵍᶜʰᵃⁿ

023

Jeongin had regressed after waking up from his nap and, honestly, it's making my heart ache with how precious he is. He's more comfortable around me now that he's regressed, but I can tell he's still hurting. I don't think that feeling will go away for a while, though.

"Can I ask you some more questions, Baby Boy?" He nodded, taking another bite of his peanut butter squares. "How did we start dating?"

"Daddy took me to a park and asked me out over a picnic." "Damn, I'm romantic as hell." He giggled, the sound making my heart flutter. "Do that again." "Do what again?" "Giggle. It's so precious." Jeongin blushed, trying to hide behind his half eaten peanut butter square.

I smiled, taking his hand in mine. "Okay, so I'm romantic and asked you out over a picnic. Did we immediately start being in our ddlb dynamic?" "Yeah! Daddy was caregiver with Lixie and then Daddy was Daddy after picnic."

Wait. Back up. "Felix was your caregiver?" He nodded, taking a sip of his milk. "Lixie took care of Innie after bad caregiver left." Bad caregiver...he must be talking about his ex.

I don't want to pry while he's in his safe space, so I'll save my questions for later. "Who's the better caregiver, Felix or Daddy." "Lixie."

"Oh yeah?" I started towards the younger with my hands out like I was going to tickle him, causing him to giggle and back away. "I joke it joke Daddy no!" He laughed while I tickled him, pulling him close to me after the attack was finished.

He giggled, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Daddy the best caregiver. Innie lucky to have Daddy." I smiled softly to myself, taking in the moment. I've got the cutest, most precious little boy in the whole world.

"Baby?" "Yes, Daddy?" He looked up at me, resting his chin against my abdomen. "Did...Did I ever tell you that you're the most precious little boy in the world? And that you deserve to be loved?"

He smiled, seeming to slip back into his big head space as he responded, "You did. You were watching me while Felix went and got dinner and you asked me why I was afraid to find another caregiver, if I was preventing myself because of him. Then you told me someone would love me for me because they would realize they've got the cutest, most precious little boy in the whole world and that I deserved to be loved."

Jeongin pulled away, his smile growing. "I told Felix that night that I wanted to be loved by you." My heart fluttered at his words. "Am I...Am I good to you?" "Are you asking if you're a good boyfriend?" I nodded, biting my lip.

By the way he speaks, I sound like I've been a good boyfriend, but maybe he's reliving the good memories and not the bad.

"You're the best, Daddy. You're a wonderful caregiver and an even better boyfriend. I'm lucky to have you." He leaned up, cupping my face with his hands. "If you remember anything, I want you to remember how amazing you are." "All I want to remember is us." I whispered, watching the pain become evident in his eyes. "We'll get there." I nodded, leaning into the warmth of his hands.

"Daddy?" "Yes, Baby?" "Can we go cuddle again? We can continue talking, but I'd like to cuddle some more." Anything for you. "Anything for you, Baby Boy."

Picking him up, I began to walk towards our bedroom, but I noticed there was a third door that Jeongin hadn't shown me. "Baby, what's in that room?" "Nothing." Looking between him and the room, I turned to start walking towards it, curiosity taking over me. Jeongin nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck as I opened the door and turned the lights on.

At first glance, I only saw a bed, a mirror, and a dresser. Until I looked around, and I noticed there was a pet corner and a mirror on the ceiling. Walking further into the room, I sat Jeongin down on the bed before taking a more in depth look around the room.

The dresser was filled with toys, restraints, and other items you would use in a scene, like blindfolds and wax. There was also a whole drawer dedicated to lingerie. I blushed, trying to not imagine Jeongin in some cute white lingerie.

I walked over to the pet corner, smiling softly at the cute bed and pillow placed in the corner, a board full of collars and leashes above it. "Are you," I turned towards the blushing boy on the bed before continuing, "Are you a pet?" He nodded, playing with the fabric of his sweater.

"Hey, don't be shy." Walking closer to the younger, I took his hands in mine. "Are you a Kitten?" Another nod, "You took me to a shop one day and I decided on a set with a cat tail, ears, and a collar. I've been your Kitten ever since."

"When did we get this room?" "You just finished it last week." So we've barely gotten to enjoy it. That's really sad. Looking into the mirror on the wall, I sighed at the reflection I saw.

It's me, but I don't recognize who I'm staring back at. I don't recognize this version of myself. The version that's happy, that has a loving boyfriend, a house, a life. But I'm proud. I'm proud of myself for making it this far. For finding someone like Jeongin.

My gaze was directed towards the mirror on the ceiling, allowing for a full view of the bed and everything that's happening on the bed. I admired the way Jeongin's hand fits in mine. Jeongin looked up, meeting my gaze in the mirror. Now you can see how breathtaking you are while I ruin you.

My cheeks dusted pink as the words echoed in my mind. "What's wrong, Daddy?" "I-Did I ever..." I scratched the back of my neck, suddenly nervous. "Now you can see how breathtaking you are while I ruin you." I repeated the words that just kept repeating in my brain, and as I saw his reaction, I knew I've said them before.

"You said those words when you first showed me this room." He glanced down at the bed before meeting my gaze in the mirror again. "We were laying right here, looking up into the mirror just like this, when you said those words." Jeongin smiled softly, "You promised that if I wore my new collar for you that you'd show me this room after school."

New collar? Looking down at his neck, I didn't see a collar. "What's so special about the collar? If I asked you to wear it for a day." "You had it special made for me, it's one of those collars that need a key to unlock. We wanted to have a more personal collar."

I nodded, "Did you only wear it that day?" Jeongin bit his lip, looking down at his lap. "I took it off when I heard about your accident. I didn't want you to react negatively to it." Pouting, I cupped his face in my hands, bringing his attention to my eyes. "Why would I have reacted negatively to it? I'm sure you look amazing in it."

"I didn't know if you were going to stay...since you don't remember us. I didn't want your first and last memory of me to be negative." His voice was small and weak and his words sent daggers into my heart. He was scared I was going to leave him...

I pulled him into a hug, holding onto him tightly. "I'm so sorry." "It's okay, it's not your fault." I didn't know what to say, so I just held onto the younger, not wanting to ever let go.

Glancing in the mirror on the wall, I swore to myself in that moment, that I was going to do everything in my power to regain my memory. I need to. For Jeongin. For my precious Baby Boy.