ⁿᵉʷ ᵇᵉᵍⁱⁿⁿⁱⁿᵍˢ | ʲᵉᵒⁿᵍᶜʰᵃⁿ

022

Felix and mom left, leaving Jeongin and I alone. It felt weird, being alone with my brother's best friend. Felix says I've been dating him for a little over a year now. I don't remember the past couple years, so I know I've seen Jeongin since he was just a little freshman, but I don't remember it.

The last time I remember seeing Jeongin, he was a really small boy who dressed like a little kid and came over almost every night to have dinner with us and play Mario Cart with Felix. He was always so shy around me, as if he were nervous.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I thought about what the doctor recommended, how I should go about my daily life in hopes of regaining my memory. In some cases, going about everything like it were a normal day helps trigger memories and speeds up the recovery process.

But the only person who knows what I did during a normal day is Jeongin. Or, at least, he's the one who knows best. Jeongin hasn't left his office and I'm not really sure if I should go and bother him. But am I really a bother if we're dating?

Deciding to go knock on his door, I heard a few sniffles before he opened it, keeping his eyes glued to the floor. "Jeongin, can...can you help me with what I'd do during a regular day? The doctor, he recommended that I go through daily life because it can help-why are you crying?"

I began to panic as I saw tears streaming down his face but he just shook it off, wiping his face with his sleeve. "Give me a minute, I'll go downstairs and we can talk." I could only nod as he closed the door, leaving me alone in the hallway.

I began to walk downstairs, thinking it best to wait for the younger on the couch. It was a few minutes later when he finally walked downstairs, head hung low as he sat on the couch.

"Chan, I don't know how to approach this, but Felix told me to tell you everything since he thinks it'll help. But," He paused, sighing softly before continuing. "We're in a ddlb relationship. You're my caregiver and I'm your little boy." We were? Wait, no. We are. Were? Are?

That must be why it feels a little weird for him to be calling me by my name. I knew something was off, and that must be it. It sounds foreign whenever he calls me by my name.

"Jeongin?" He hummed, his eyes remaining on the carpet. "Did you...Do you call me something else? It feels weird, you calling me by my name." He nodded, sniffling back some tears. "I'd call you Daddy." "And I'd call you...?" "Baby Boy." Baby Boy. It suits him.

"Is it okay if I continue to call you that?" Another nod. Scooting closer to the younger, he stiffened at my presence. "Why are you so nervous?" He didn't answer, and I soon heard his soft sniffles as tear droplets fell from his face and onto his lap. "Hey, why are you crying? You've been crying a lot I-please look at me." Jeongin shook his head, keeping his eyes locked on the floor. Why won't he look at me...

He looks like he's in so much pain. And if I know anything about Littles in pain, he needs to regress to deal with it. But he's probably forcing himself not to because of the situation. I don't want to pry, but if I'm his boyfriend and his caregiver, it's my responsibility to make sure he's safe and okay. And he definitely doesn't look okay.

Deciding to put everything aside, I swept the younger up in my arms and laid down on the couch. "What are you doing?" "We're going to cuddle for a bit." "I don't want to." His voice was so small. I began to rub soft circles onto his thigh as his head rested against my chest.

"You're safe, here with me. I know it's difficult right now because I don't remember us, but I promise you're safe with me."

Jeongin nodded softly, snuggling up to me. "Chan?" "Yes, Baby Boy?" "I'm sorry." "What are you apologizing for?" "Because...I've been acting cold towards you." "You be cold all you want, Baby Boy. We all deal with pain differently. If you need to go non verbal and give me the cold shoulder, you go right ahead. If you need to regress and have Daddy take care of you, you go right into your safe space. However you need cope with this, you cope with it. This is a lot to take in, and it's going to be a bumpy ride. But know that I am here for you just as I know you're here for me."

I heard sniffles coming from the younger once again, and when I tilted his head up towards me, his sobs just became stronger. Pulling him closer to me, I held onto him as he let it all go.

His fists held my shirt tightly in his grip as his tears wet the fabric. I didn't mind, though. That's what shirts are for, right?

After a while, his sobs settled down and he was drifting off to sleep. "Daddy?" "Yes, Baby?" "Even though you don't remember us right now, I hope you know that I love you very much." "I love you, too, Baby. Now, you take a nap and we'll talk more once you wake up." A nod came from the younger before his soft snores were the only thing heard in the house.

Resting my head on top of his, I soon drifted off to sleep, hoping that, magically, I'll wake up with my memory back.