Nevermind

Chapter 44: Dwindling Confidence

"I-I c-can't do it" you stuttered, unable to control your voice as you failed to calm down.

"Yes, you can," Jimin said assertively as he held your shoulders.

You desperately shook your head, eyes brimming with tears as you brought a hand to your mouth.

"Breathe, aegi" he said sweetly, cupping one of your cheeks with his hand. He mimicked the motion, breathing in and out together with you.

Your fearful eyes were fixed on his and you tried to focus on them. His intense stare, fiercely protective, eased the tightness in your chest.

"That's it" he encouraged you, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He stroked your upper arms up and down gently.

You inhaled and exhaled slowly, closing your eyes for a minute to feel your lungs take in all the air to then release it progressively through your nose.

"This whole thing feels like giving birth" you laughed amused with eyes shut still. Jimin burst out laughing at the comparison.

"That's not possible, is it?" he asked seriously all of a sudden. You looked at him, a concerned expression on his face and his eyebrows furrowed.

You had told him it was okay to finish inside of you, but not the details of what sort of protection there was.

It had been kind of reckless, but he trusted you. You wouldn't do anything that could affect him or your uncle in any way. He suddenly wondered though, with you being sick.

"I don't know" Jimin's eyes widened at your words until you explained, "I haven't had my period in years, my body's just not in good shape"

Not externally or internally, you thought and pouted. Jimin looked at the sad expression on your face and pulled you into a hug, holding the back of your head gently and bringing it against his chest.

You curled up against him, arms wrapping around his waist in a tight embrace. He could feel your fingers on his back bunching up his t-shirt.

Jimin stroked your hair softly when you didn't back away. Laying his head on yours, he hummed a little melody in an attempt to fill the silence, make it seem comfortable and friendly.

"I'm proud of you, aegi," he pointed out, pulling back and smiling brightly at you.

Ever since you'd told him how severe your anxiety could be, he had shared a few relaxation techniques in hopes they'd help make things a little better at least.

Breathing exercises, grounding through the five senses, counteracting the negative thoughts with more positive ones like a mantra and a few mindful yoga moves for anxiety.

When he was around, he could comfort you through skinship, but you had to be able to deal on your own as well.

Sometimes you succeeded and then other times you failed. You kept trying though, that's all that mattered.

You had just had a small amount of food, which was more than you usually did, and you had started panicking.

Jimin knew from his own experience that you could get caught up in your thoughts and end up thinking something was bound to happen.

It felt inevitable, but he had learned it wasn't if you managed not to get all worked up about it. The mind is powerful and if you were sure you were going to be sick, your body would follow through.

"You are doing so well, aegi" he whispered as he was close to your ear.

"Can I have a kiss?" you pouted cutely at him and he chuckled. He pecked you lovingly and then pressed his lips to yours a little less carefully.