Nevermind

Chapter 17: Just Let Me Go

"How are your parents doing?" your uncle asked as you stirred your coffee.

"Um, alright, I guess. I haven't had much time to talk to them, it's been so busy" you said softly knowing it was all a lie. If you really wanted to talk to them, you would find time for it.

"I know your mom's been wanting you to visit in Gwangju" he said and you felt sick at the pit of your stomach. You chuckled nervously, she was the last person you wanted to see right now. You had enough problems without her adding to them.

"Well, yeah. I really can't afford to take a trip at the moment. I just started my new job here, I have to leave a good impression" you were not wrong, but again, you were using your situation to cover up the fact that even if you could, you wouldn't go see them.

"I understand," he said, nodding with knitted eyebrows. He was sad for you. It had been so long since you'd seen them, you surely missed them.

"Have you made any friends?" he asked and you nearly choked on your drink. You pressed a napkin to your lips and wiped them after coughing. Your uncle patted your back concerned for a second.

"I have, yeah. Don't worry about me, samchon" were you lying? Were you not? This last week you'd been ignoring Jimin's messages. Hoping he'd get tired of trying to reach you and getting no response. You were so embarrassed, you didn't know how to face him after all that happened.

"That's good" he smiled and motioned for a waitress to bring the check for you. "Let me pay for this, we don't get to see each other often" you nodded at his words to thank him. If only your dad was like his brother, they were so different. Then again your uncle was much younger than him.

"I'm sorry I can't stay longer."

"Don't worry about it, samchon. I understand" you said, waving your hand as if trying to brush his worries away.

"I have work to do with Bangtan. You were a fan of them, weren't you?" he asked and you looked at him shocked. He remembered this? You didn't remember mentioning it more than a couple of times and in passing.

"Yeah, I like their music" you said awkwardly and took a long sip of your coffee.

"You should come meet them some time, they are very nice men. I would gladly introduce you to the members" he offered, smiling brightly. You nodded and told him you'd keep that in mind. The excitement you showed wasn't much in comparison to what he expected, but he shrugged it off.

Walking in your apartment, you tiredly hung your purse on the hook behind the door and made your way to the living room. Putting your coat on a chair, you then let yourself fall on the couch as you looked around your place.

Today was cleaning day and you honestly had no energy for it. There were still a few boxes of movies you had to put back in their shelves, but you'd mostly finished unpacking all of your belongings. These had come from Japan last.

You made your way to your room and changed into leggings and a comfortable t-shirt. There were no plans for the rest of the day, so you removed your make-up and put your hair up in a bun.

You did your best to ignore your reflection on the bathroom's mirror. You looked individually at each part of your face as you cleaned it and then when you were bare you just didn't really look at yourself at all.

It had been a struggle since Jimin found out about your eating disorder. You were filled with shame and disgusted. Your heart raced every time you remembered someone else knew how pathetic you were, starving yourself and still not managing to look remotely slim.