Nevermind

Chapter 19: Pay It No Nevermind

Saturday night became your movie night from that weekend and on. You just hung out and watched one or two films each time. The second one was mostly because Jimin secretly didn't want to leave so soon and insisted he was in the mood for another one.

With your cleaning during the day, you were usually exhausted, but you also didn't want to say no to him, so you put on the second movie just so he'd stay. Sometimes you'd fall asleep on his shoulder after struggling for a while to keep your eyes open.

Jimin didn't mind at all, a few times he had even dozed off himself after realizing you were sleeping. You gradually became more comfortable around him and started joking around once more, leaving the awkwardness behind.

You didn't think that was possible, things weren't the same, but they weren't ruined. For some reason you figured that it would all revolve around your eating disorder and he would feel obliged to fix you. That wasn't the case at all.

He did do little caring things that showed you he didn't ignore it completely. Every time he brought a container of a different home cooked meal for you, to make sure you'd at least have some food in your fridge.

After a couple weeks he brought popcorn with him and offered you some, but didn't force you to eat. You'd get tempted and take just a few pieces and he'd smile to himself satisfied. Other times he'd start playing with them and throwing them in the air to catch them until you joined him.

It didn't sound like much, but it was a much bigger deal than it seemed. Witnessing your habits brought back a lot of dark memories as he observed you and saw his past self reflected on you. Being on the other side was a different kind of tough, but it was harder to watch than he expected.

Jimin still struggled with his weight and his appearance to this day, the negative thoughts didn't go away completely, but he was in a much better place mentally. He'd worked arduously to find ways to cope that were healthier and did his best not to do anything that went against his well-being.

Since he had said you looked cute with less make-up, you had decided not to think too much about it and just do it for him. You didn't feel all that comfortable, but you left it for the last minute just so you'd literally have no time to do more even if you wanted to.

It did make you anxious, but once you were with Jimin and he didn't comment negatively on it, you felt more at ease again. He noticed your lounge wear became more stylish as weeks went by, that's one thing you couldn't let go.

There was no way you were going to be dressed up as if to go out, because that would also be ridiculous, but you got yourself some new clothes to feel less self-conscious. What you wore when you were alone wasn't exactly cute, it just was comfortable.

"Noona" he uttered as he grabbed a handful of popcorn "what would you say about hanging out during the day next week?" his eyes were hopeful as he popped a few pieces in his mouth and munched on them.

"Sure, no problem. Do you have plans in the evening?" you asked curiously. He shook his head as he finished chewing and swallowed before he could talk.

"No, but I mean, it would be nice if we could go out. What do you think?" his voice was a little unstable as he hesitated. It had been more than a month since you'd been to Nami Island and he really did enjoy staying in, but it wouldn't hurt to ask if you'd like to do something different.

"Oh" your eyes widened slightly, you were surprised. You had been having a good time just staying in and having fun together, "what's wrong with our movie nights?"

It was nice not to have to be meticulous about your make-up, to not have to pick your clothes as carefully like you would if you were to go out. Your nights were a break from at least some of the pressure you experienced. Jimin hurried to answer when your tone denoted concern.