Part 1 of SBI bitching about Goldenduo platonic marriage and Purpled absolutely roasting them
i'll skip a bunch of lyrics btw :']
the text to speech is funny:
bitch ass fuck prick shit bitch bitch fuck dumbass shit prick ass fucker
what the fuck? aaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah a y a aaaaaaaa minute minute
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"YOU CAN'T MARRY MY BROTHER!" Wilbur shouted, staring the teenager down.
Purpled just smiled, Tommy hiding behind his platonic husband. The dirty blonde just replied "But I can."
"Not without consent." Wilbur growled.
"Then I'll get consent."
"You- he's 17! He's a child!"
"And you're, what, 57? Just sour about having young love?" Purpled bit back, grinning.
Wilbur faltered. "Don't speak to me like that."
"Like what? Poor Wilbur Soot, lost his little brother because of someone who actually cares?" The blonde taunted.
"You little-"
"You have the same eyes as your father, did you notice that? You carry the same kind of temper too. Oh, what a shame for the local community."
Tommy snorted at that, but quickly shut up when Wilbur glared at him.
"Honestly, how the fuck did he end up with you?" Purpled glanced at Tommy, then back at Wilbur. "You know we talk about all the dumb shit you do."
"Tommy?" Wilburs voice was fueled with absolute rage. "What the fuck?" Tommy winced.
"Now now, you need to calm down." Purpled patted Wilburs shoulder, not worried about the death stare he was given.
"When you devote it to me, why not be a little more friendly?" Purpled teased, poking the mans chest.
Wilbur pulled out his sword, but the blonde still had his hands in his pockets.
"Well he's still running away from you." Purpled shrugged. "And he told me that he fuckin hates you."
Tommys eyes widened. "Purp!"
"Now now, you need to calm down! What goods this energy?" Purpled smirked as he quickly blocked Wilburs attack, the Bedwars player inside him activated.
"PURPLED!" Tommy hissed, pulling him back. "Could you shut up for a minute please?"
His friend shrugged, but flipped Wilbur off as Tommy approached the tallest.
"Me and Purpled are in a platonic marriage," Tommy explained and winced under Wilburs glare.
"You aren't old enough, Tommy, and especially not him. You need consent, anyways." Wilbur retorted.
"Where does Phil live?" Purpled spoke up.
Tommy swerved around to look at him, disbelieved. "Don't."
"I'll find him, then. You okay here, Toms? Or do you want to come with?" The dirty blonde glanced at Wilbur. "You can stay, if you want."
"Tommy, stay here." Wilbur frowned.
"But-" Tommy sent Purpled a silent message. "Sure. I'll stay."
His friend nodded. "I'll see you soon, okay?"
"Okay." Tommy smiled weakly.
He knew for sure that either his platonic husband or older brother would end up hurt in some way or another after that conversation at Phil's house.
===
??? idk man
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