𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐒 | shadowhunters [ EDITING ]

•33.•

•the aftermath•

"THIS RUNE OF angelic power is well-deserved and long overdue. You are no longer a Shadowhunter in training. You have defeated our greatest enemy. Valentine may have used the Mortal Instruments to raise the Angel Raziel, but you prevented a wish from being granted. Clarissa Fairchild, may your heroism be a shining example to Shadowhunters across the world. Congratulations."

Applause erupts from all the Nephilim that were attending after Imogen Herondale finished her speech, but the loudest applause came from Alec, Isabelle and Jace. Clary turns around to face the other Shadowhunters. Her hand clutches the new rune. She should be incredibly happy, but she couldn't help but feel ashamed. Everyone thought that she was a selfless hero.

But that was not the truth. Instead of being selfless, she had asked the Angel Raziel for a very selfish wish. To bring Jace back from the dead after Valentine killed him. 

Jace returned to the world of the living and they swore to each other not to speak about this. Not even to Alec, Jace's parabatai. 

She wished her other friends were there: Simon, Magnus and Blythe. But since they were all Downworlders and Mundanes they were not allowed inside Alicante. Not that she could talk with them about this either. She couldn't tell anyone about what she had done and even Jace did not like talking about it. The secret left a hefty burden on her. 

•••

MAGNUS TURNS HIS head towards Alec with a supporting smile. "Wether you're in Idris or in New York, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you, hm?" The dark haired Shadowhunter nods to signal that he understood. Magnus was just going to offer him one of his famous, or perhaps rather infamous, martinis when they hear a loud, bloodcurling screech coming from somewhere nearby.

Alec was immediately alert. His muscles react in a reflex and he reaches for the seraph blade that he always carried with him.

Magnus notices his reaction and was quick to react. He reaches out and lowers Alec's drawn blade. "Don't. It's.. just another of Blythe's night terrors."

He tries to make it seem like a casual occurence, but Alec could see that the screaming hurt him below the surface. The Shadowhunter frowns as he looks towards the door of Blythe's bedroom. "Does that happen often," he asks, glancing back at his boyfriend. Sure, he heard she had bad dreams after everything that happened, but he hadn't known the extent of it.

Magnus sighs as he sits down on his couch. Alec now notices the bags underneath his eyelids and the almost grayish look on his face. He must be so tired, he thinks to himself silently as he takes a seat in front of him.

"Almost every day, sometimes multiple times a night. We both barely get any sleep, so I.. busy my nights with clients, most of the time. Sure, they get scared when they suddenly hear her scream, but.. I tried everything, Alexander. Calming potions, staying with her entire nights. I have even let the Silent Brothers come to check on her, but nobody can help her."

"Maybe it just takes some time. I mean, it must not be easy to overcome all that trauma," Alec suggests. Magnus leans back in the couch. His pensive cat eyes switch between his martini and Alec. Rimples appear on his forehead from the stress and overthinking. "But she doesn't talk to me, Alexander, and that worries me. She keeps it all inside. I tried so hard, but I have no idea how I can meet her in the middle."

Alec shifts on the seat, leaning in a bit closer to his boyfriend and meeting his eyes. "Well, now Clary is back maybe the three of them can meet up? It will do her good to get outside." He leans back again. His hands were folded on his lap and his leg lays across his knee. "While we're speaking of going outside.. have you heard anything from your informants at the Shadowmarkets?"

The former High Warlock shakes his head. "No, nobody knows anything useful. No one can identify who tried to kidnap her at Max' rune ceremony party and no one knows precisely what business her mother had or who her enemies were because, unfortunately, there were too many to count."

Magnus sighs deeply. He cups his head in his arms. Alec stands up from his seat to kneel by his boyfriend's side. The Shadowhunter rubs his back comfortingly. "Hey, you'll find them. We will find them. You won't have to do this on your own," he promises.

Magnus raises his head and gifts his boyfriend a tired smile. "Thank you, Alexander."

•••

"N-NO.. N-N-NO! PLEASE! D-don't do this! No!-"

Blythe's eyes flash wide open. While her agonizing scream still echoed through the room she sits up. Her chest heaves and locks of her brown hair stick to the sweaty skin. Blythe runs a hand through her messy hair, trying to return to normal breathing.

Ever since the.. Sebastian debacle.. she had been having nightmares. She was either dangling from somewhere high or under water with someone or something trying to pull her down.

As much as she tried to forget and surpress was happened, her body wouldn't let her when she was asleep. If she was not drowning or falling to her inevitable demise she had nightmares about him. The Shadowhunters, Simon and Magnus continued to assure her that he was truly dead. Still, the whole experience was gnawing on her like a leech that wasn't willing to let go anytime soon.

She slips out of bed. Her legs were wobbly as she tries to rest her full weight onto them. Blythe noticed that she was experiencing a dull, throbbing pain in her arm. She raises the limb, surprised to see bruises forming. Blythe tracks back in her mind what could have caused them, but she found no reason to have bruises on her skin. It was strange.. very odd.

Still in her shorts and tank top she rushes to the living room. She found Magnus on the couch, snuggling up to Alec as they were watching reruns of Family Feud on the television.

The two of them look up swiftly when she enters the living room. "Hey Blythe, how are you," Alec asks. He didn't want to be too direct that he heard her screaming, so he played as if he didn't know anything. At first they were relaxed, but their demeanor changes fast when they see her shaking.

"Blythe.. you are still trembling," Magnus points out. He had his eyes trained on her, widened and seriously worried. She takes a shaky breath and turns her lower arms, showing the two the dark bruises on them. "I don't know how they got there," she whispers, sounding exhausted. Because she was exhausted.

Ever since Sebastian was defeated and she was free again, she didn't have a good night of sleep. Magnus did everything in his power to comfort her and help her, but none of this was in his power, nor hers. Every night she woke from nightmares and they left her mentally exhausted all the time.

Magnus stands up quickly from the couch and strides over to her. He gently takes her wrist and turns her arm so he could observe her skin. "Do they hurt," he asks. Blythe shakes her head. "No, just throbbing. B-but I don't know where they came from. I-I'm sure I didn't have these before I went to sleep."

Alec moves from the couch as well. His dark eyes darkened even more in worry. "What could have caused this, Magnus," he mumbles to his boyfriend while both their eyes were locked on her skin. "I have no idea.. and that is what frightens me."

Magnus frowns. His mind was racing with all different possibilities, but he couldn't imagine what might have caused this to happen. "Was anything different about this night than the others, Blythe," he asks.

Blythe remained silent for a moment. She realized that there was a difference from her 'normal' night terrors this time. "Normally, when I.. have those dreams... I am either drowning or falling. This time I did neither. I-I was lost in this dark forest that I couldn't escape. An arm grabbed me and.. and then I woke up." She looks at Magnus with true fear in her eyes. The look in her eyes was a cry for help. Help that Magnus could not provide and that pained him.

"What is happening to me, Magnus?"