Titanic ~ Unsinkable Love

~{ TWENTY FOUR }~

Hello guys! I hope this quick notes find you good. To be honest, this chapter didn't come out as I expected, but istg I did my best. Hope you like it :)

_____________

~{ rose's pov }~

Defying screams begging for mercy from the other side of the ship, where the deck was almost submersed. I quickly looked around, in an attempt to find Jack. He was nowhere to be seen in the crowd.

"Jack!" I yelled between the other thousand screams that ended up blending together. "Jack!" I cried, moving my legs with some effort to find him.

The ship was crackling, the pope raising more and more towards the night sky. My eyes searched for the boats, but they were all gone. I held tight on to the rail, aware that I had to find Jack before it was too late.

Desperately, with my heart beating in my throat, I began to run through the crowd, bumping into everyone, looking for him as I shouted his name, too. But my legs weren't leading me anywhere. I tried to run faster, but I didn't move an inch.

A gasp escaped my throat when the ocean water reached me. I looked up to see that the pope was almost getting vertically, and I let go of the rail. I allowed myself to drown in the freezing water, that would numb my muscles and my pain.

I drowned in the vast darkness of the ocean, aware that this was more than just a nightmare. It meant that I had to save myself from the darkness alone.

My soul was begging for mercy.

____

I woke up in the middle of the night, panting, feeling that I was drowning. And I was; deep inside, I really was drowning on the freezing water and chocking myself with my own agonizing screams.

The nightmares always caught me when I feared something. It wasn't new for me. But this time, everything seemed to hit hard on me. I didn't have Jack with me, I was all by myself, trapped in the same jail again, with the same people and the same issues. It was like reviving the past that I wanted to let go.

My hands were trembling and sweaty as I ran my fingers through my soaked hair and sat on the bed, still trying to catch my breath. My muscles were tingling and my skin was cold like the waters of my nightmare. The tears were soon streaming through my cheeks and the need of screaming at the top of my lungs flushed over my body, all the weight of guilt and desperation falling over my shoulders.

I was almost drowning myself in my own tears, choking myself on my own sobs and pressing hard my legs against my chest that it hurt. I was craving to hear Jack's soothing voice, to feel his arms wrapping my body and making me feel safe in his tight embrace. But I didn't deserve that. I doubted his love for me. Will he ever love me again the same way as he did before?

Will my life be the same after everything that was happening in that moment?

I kept jumping from thought to thought, question to question, soaking my cheeks and my lungs hurting because of the hard sobs.

Somehow, after ten minutes or two hours, there was a moment I realised that it wasn't worth it to keep thinking about the past. It can't be changed, anyway. I had committed the mistakes, and I couldn't change that fact. But I would not be standing there, waiting for tomorrow. The bastard wasn't going to see me tomorrow.

Harshly, I wiped the tears and put myself on my feet. I flinched as soon as my skin felt the cold floor under it; thankfully my mind was too busy finding a way out of that room — jail.

"The window!" I slurred quietly.

That time, I was already able to walk towards the opposite corner of the room, without the need of prompting on the walls. I couldn't help but notice, in the dim light, how everything was in its place, just like I had left before leaving for the United Kingdom. Even the gardenias that once were smelly and full of life, were in the same place from before. They really thought I was dead.

After inspecionating the room that once was mine, my eyes finally fell on the big, dark wooden window. I took a deep breath, feeling the adrenaline flushing over my body and my heartbeat blowing up. That was my only chance to escape from this life. My sweaty fingers touched the lock, my eyes studying it as if my life depended on it. And it really did.

Soon, as simple as it could sound, I concluded that a hair clip could be useful to unlock it. And that's what I did. I walked silently towards my comber and found everything in their supposed places.

My heart skipped a beat when I touched the lock again, this time with the clip in my trembly hands. Carefully, I raised the hair clip and led it on the lock, holding my breath as I slowly twirled it with my shaking hands, expecting to hear the sound of my liberty. But my first try failed.

Again, in another attempt, I twirled it one more time. It didn't work. Again and again and again, with my heart pounding hard in my chest, desperately trying to get my freedom back. But nothing happened.

There was no way out.

I threw the clip off my hands, depositing all my fury on it as it hit the wall, making a sharp noise when it hit the ground. My whole body was still trembling and my breathing was erratic. With no strength to come back to the bed, I allowed myself to collapse on the floor. Deep inside, I was screaming in pain. I felt fragile as a porcelain doll.

With my hands holding my head, I cried. I allowed all of my emotions to come out with warm tears. I couldn't bear that feeling, the feeling of loss and emptiness. And, God, this wasn't my place anymore. I didn't belong to them anymore, I never did and I never will.

My sobs became louder, breaking the defying silence of the room. My heart, broken. All I did was thinking of him and only him. I messed up my own, perfect little life, and I wasn't aware of how much I would miss every single second of it.

Before I could try anything else, I felt that sickness in my stomach again. The same nausea I had been feeling for the past few weeks, and it didn't go away. I didn't know what was going on, but it made me get up and run towards the bathroom to throw up.

I clutched my stomach, sitting on the cold floor again and prompting my back on the tiles. My eyes turned to stare at the sunrising, gleams pouring through the tiny window of the bathroom.

There was a voice spinning in the back of my mind, whispering something I tried to deny. It couldn't be. I stared at the light, picking up the facts and connecting all the dots. I couldn't keep denying it when I had my period late for nearly two months. Soon, it wouldn't be something I could keep insisting it wasn't true.

My life was about to change, forever.

I was living for two.

_______________

Hm, did you notice the signs before Rose? Tell me on the comments below!  Also, don't forget to vote if you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you so much for reading!

love,
~Liaxame