~{ THIRTY FIVE }~

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Um, hi. I'm sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I don't know how I feel about it, and about the story itself, but I hope you're enjoying it so far. I'll defo improve this later, but I didn't want to skip the update so here you go!

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~{ rose's pov }~
The overcast sky in that evening prevented the sun gleams to reach the surroundings, it all felt like a cold, sorrowful day. The absence of the birdies and the leaves, with the dreadful coloration of a typical winter were matching my humor on that day.

As Caledon had demanded on the previous week, I began to take classes. No going out. Be obedient. Be polite. Do not forget to never question your husband's orders.

Pretend you are someone you aren't, because you are, somehow, not living for yourself, but living to satisfy someone else's need, to fill the void in someone else's life.

The lessons so far were hilarious, I had to hold back the laughter. I was considering all those topics as a "what you should never do" list. It was a step-to-step about how to not be one of them.

It all didn't matter, anyway. Not now, when I had the password of the safe and the cold stone that were more valuable than my life. And I couldn't wait to tell Jack.

Quietly, I locked my room door, lightened up the candle and opened the window, longing for him.

Tucked inside the smooth blankets, I waited. The soft, freezing breeze blew through the window, the curtains fluttering and my body shivering in response. I thought about Mother's Christmas gift, a single dragon-fly brooch, adorned with tiny crystals on its wing. There was no special meaning behind it, just... a gift - a duty.

I took a deep breath, allowing the small hint of hope that was still alive inside me to fade away. Ruth would never change, she would never manifest love or affection. She would never open up to me, or to anyone else. She would never be a mother figure to me, she had never been.

The tiny life growing inside me twirled around, and my heart ached in fear. I could never do such a thing to my child. I would never make her feel like this, like how I feel with Ruth. I would love her in any way.

Yet, there was no sign of him. I had lost track of time. What on Earth could've happened to Jack? He never got late before.

Was him not coming at all?

The room was colder. I couldn't stand the idea of not talking to him tonight. It's been fourteen days since the last time we met. It was a painful wait, the kind of one that makes you bleed on the inside at a slow pace.

I craved to jump off the window and leave this complicated stuff behind.

And, desperately, I did get out of the house.

Grabbing a thick coat and something else to cover my hair, I opened my room's door, carefully locked it and tiptoed downstairs. There was no logic in leaving that house in the middle of the night, when I knew Hockley already suspected of our secret. But sometimes, when your heart is bleeding and your mind seeking for comfort, all you care about is finding the one who heals your harmed heart and makes it whole again.

The crisp wind hit my face, making my thoughts sober. I closed the door behind me, taking a glimpse of the majestic house before turning away and facing the dim road ahead me. My legs trembled at how dark it was, but there was no chance of turning back. Wrapping my arms around my body, to keep me warm, I faced the grisly road, willing to spot the city lights at each step I took.

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After panting for air and the muscles in my legs aching, I reached the town, the light poles a bit blurry at first. Someway, it didn't feel that cold on the streets.

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