Forth Beam short stories 2

Fall for me instead (part 13)

Beam's P.O.V.

The date was great. We spent most of it making out which I enjoyed. But now we were on our way back. The thoughts that were lingering in the back of my mind are now invading it. I looked at Forth who was happily holding my hand his head rested on my shoulder and I gulped. This is probably going to end bad. Like really bad. I need to have a serious talk with him.

"Forth." I called him making sure he wasn't asleep.

"Hmm." He answered.

"Can we talk? When we get to the house?" I asked and he pulled away from me.

"Is something wrong?" He asked concerned.

"No...I just, I don't know we need to talk." I said and he nodded. Cho and Pufai were looking at us. Thankfully we arrived and I quickly got out. Forth followed me and we walked inside. Everyone was looking at us curiously but I just passed them and found a quiet place to talk with Forth.

"What's wrong?" He asked once we were sitting down on the sand a bit far away from the house and everyone else.

"I want to make sure we are on the same page." I said not meeting his eyes instead tracing the sand with my fingers. He let out a sigh.

"So you don't like me then? Is that what your saying?" He asked and I shook my head.

"I like you but that's the problem." I said and he looked at me confused.

"Why?" he asked.

"I just feel like we want different things. I didn't come here for a relationship Forth. But I know you were looking for love. I'm not sure I want that." I said.

"Oh right. I didn't even think about that. I was just caught up thinking you liked me too. I didn't even stop to think about that. I'm sorry." He said turning to look at me and my heart broke seeing his sad face.

"No I am I should've made things clear sooner. But then you kissed me and I enjoyed it and I don't know Im sorry." I said sadly.

"Here I thought getting you to like me was going to be the hard part." He said letting out a dry laugh.

"I didn't mean for this to happen. But I didn't come here looking for love. I just didn't want to spend the summer alone at home. I thought I could come here and have fun, make some friends. I didn't expect to meet someone like you. I do have feelings for you but I'm not sure if I'm up for a relationship right now. Besides our time here is limited once we are out of here we may not even meet again." I said. We have to be realistic. I'm not someone who does relationship. Even if we fell in love here what happens after we are out? He could live a thousand miles away for all I know.

"So this is how it is. It ends before it even started." He said.

"Nothing has to change. You're still my favorite person here, I still enjoy cuddling with you and talking and getting to know each other. But it has to stay there. I don't want more than that for now." I just know that if I fall in love with him I will probably fall hard. That scares me too. So it's better to end it now when we won't be too hurt. After this is over we will forget about each other.

"Can't we at least try?" He asked and I could see the hope and the sadness in his face.

"I don't think we should. If I don't change my mind you will be even more hurt than now. I don't want to put you through that again. I'm sorry." I said.

"I understand, I will try my hardest to be your friend. But I will need some space from you at least for a couple of days. You can sleep with Yihwa tonight or just somewhere else ok?" He said and I nodded sadly.

"Yeah I can do that." I said. He took a deep breath and nodded.

"Ok thank you." He said.

We were silent for a while just looking at the waves crashing the water almost reaching out feet. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing or not but I hope I'm right. I'm the end I'm just trying not to hurt him or myself. Besides I am a playboy and a couples of days here with him won't change that. I've never wanted a relationship, never even thought about it. I don't do feelings. I haven't even liked someone for years until I met him. Hell the thought of liking another man didn't even cross my mind! Not once. Not even when Phana and Kit both got boyfriends. Maybe the reason I like him is just because we are here on this island with only a couple of people and he's the one that's always been here for me since day one. Maybe it's because it's him and he's funny and caring and gets on my nerves most of the time. But it doesn't matter because he is a good guy and I am an asshole. He knows that though but still he choose to like me. But I can't hurt him. I don't even know how to be in a relationship if I were to be in one. My parents are divorced. The only relationships I've seen are Phana and Kits and I don't like them. Phana and Wayo are way too dependent on each other. Where there's one the other is close behind. Ming and Kit are the opposite. Ming has to fight to get Kits attention for more than five seconds. I wouldn't even know how to love him. I feel like I don't even know anything anymore. Everything feels so confusing. This place kind of turned my world upside down. I looked at him once more before standing up.

"You coming?" I asked gesturing to the house.

"You go first I'll go in on a bit." He said and I nodded. I walked back to the house with a heavy heart but thinking I did the right thing.

A.N.

I almost disappeared again because I was stuck deciding on which path to take this story. But after a lot of thinking and I mean a lot I decided on this. Now I'm not sure where to go from here but the angst was calling me and I answered hahahaha. Don't worry I don't like sad endings they're just going to take the long way to get there. Anyways that's all for now. As always stay safe and I will see you all on the next chapter that I will hopefully figure out tomorrow because once again I have deviated form my original plan. I hate myself sometimes hahaha.