Forth Beam short stories 2

Memories (part 2)

Beam's P.O.V.

Forth fell asleep on my lap crying. I didn't know when it happened but I did too. Still I woke up first. I remembered yesterday. The bags in his eyes. It looked like he hadn't slept for days. I ran my hands gently through his hair like I used to. It made my heart ache. How did we get here? I love him so much and call me a fool but I think he still loves me too. But why break up with me? Why hurt us both? It didn't make sense. I let him sleep walking outside the room. I grabbed my phone on the way out texting Phana I wasn't coming to class today. That's when I saw his phone ringing in the couch where I bandaged his wounds yesterday. I picked it up and saw that it was Lam. He must be worried if he's calling him so early or something happened. I wasn't sure if I should let him know he was with me. I still picked up the call but didn't talk.

-Forth? Are you there? Tell me you didn't do anything crazy! I'm almost to your house if you don't say anything I'm breaking the door I don't care. You can't keep torturing yourself! I'm here, I'm coming in!- said Lam desperately. I was waiting trying to get as much information as I could.

-He's with me.- I said before he did anything like breaking down the door.

-Is he ok?- asked Lam after a few seconds of silence.

-He came here bruised. Didn't say who he fought or where the bruises came from. Then fell asleep, he is still sleeping.- I said. Trying not to let any emotion show but I could've asked him a million questions right then.

-Let him sleep he needs it. If you or him need anything just call me.- said Lam softly.

-I will but he is fine for now.- I said trying to reassure him.

-thank you for taking care of him after everything.- said Lam before hanging up.

I sighed frustrated feeling like everyone knew something I didn't. A few more hours passed before Forth woke up. I returned to the room sitting down on the bed to review my notes and keep an eye on him. He seemed to be in deep sleep but moved closer to me probably searching for warmth. When he finally woke up it was almost noon. I felt him move and stopped reading for a minute to look at him. When I noticed he opened his eyes I continued trying to read my notes. He looked at me for a second.

"You are mad." Was the first thing he said.

"How else am I supposed to feel. Happy? That you came back after breaking up with me? Because if that's what you thought you don't know me at all." I said gripping the notebook tighter.

"I didn't... I'm sorry." He said his shoulders slumping down. His eyes looked so sad it broke my heart.

"Why? Why do this? Why break up with me? Why come back? Why now?" I questioned him. I needed answers. I was desperate for them. Because these three months have been hell without him and I couldn't understand anything. He stood up ready to leave but I wasn't going to let him. Not until he gave me a reason. I stood up too not willing to make this any easier for him. "Answer me, it's the least you can do." I said and he flinched at my words but stopped walking.

"I just wanted to come to you wherever you were." He said and my heart hurt just like it did three months ago.

"You don't just get to barge into my life whenever you want to Forth." I said feeling hurt.

"That's not what I'm trying to do. You know I always try to do what's best for you." He said desperately trying to make me believe him and I wanted to laugh.

"So breaking up with me three months ago was doing what's best for me? That's how you show me you care?" I questioned getting agitated again.

"You thought you were in love with someone else for fucks sake. How can I compete with that? I thought I could take whatever scraps of love you had left and be content with it. But I can't it was eating me alive." He said raising his voice. It made all the rage I had thought was no longer existent return.

"I hate you! You stupid idiot." I said hitting his chest making him stumble into the wall behind him. "Is that why you broke up with me? Why you made me suffer! Because you thought I still had feelings for Kit?" I said continuing my assault and he just let me. By this point I could feel the tears treating to spill. "Why are you staying still? Why aren't you fighting back this time either!" I said punching his chest one last time. Even if I wanted to I knew I wasn't hurting him. My vision was now blurry with tears. I don't know when I started crying but I was. Forth grabbed my wrists that were still fisted again his chest. 

"I thought I was doing what was best for you. I wanted you to myself. But I knew what I was getting myself into when we started. You were confused on your feelings for Kit. I thought if I loved you enough you would forget all about him. But my jealousy got the best of me. I thought I would never be enough. That you will always have feelings for him. I thought I could deal with that. Then Kit left Ming and I thought I was holding you back from being with who you really wanted to be. That I couldn't deal with." He explained and I wanted to punch him again.

"So you decided to leave me?" I said in disbelief.

"I thought that if I was out of the way you could have what you really wanted and didn't have to settle." He said looking anywhere but at me.

"No one told you to choose for me Forth. I know my heart. I could have made the decision if I needed to." I said calmly and that seemed to scare him.

"What would've been your answer." He said looking at me scared.

"I don't think it matters anymore." I said feeling defeated. I had no idea what came after this. But right now it doesn't feel like anything good.

A.N.

This one is an angsty one... for now. I don't like sad endings. But I've been on the mood to write some angst so join me in my rollercoaster of emotions.