Vapor [LASHTON AU]

44 - The Final Chapter

hello! after many months of delays, the final chapter for Vapor...

note: there may be A LOT  of mistakes and feel free to correct me as I may not remember some stuff I wrote from previous chapters...

i hope you like this one :)

---

luke

"I killed my mom," Ashton said between sobs as I held him in my arms.

I froze after he said those words. I don't know how to actually take them. He killed his mom? How? Why? Confusion, worry, and fear crept up in me. What did he mean by that?

I turned my attention to the tombstone and silently read the name again. Marie-Anne Loreau. A memory instantly came into my head. The news about Andrew during his arrest.

"the late French restaurateur, Marie-Anne Loreau"

Late. That's what the news lady had said. Meaning she's dead. I never really paid attention to that at that time on the news as I had my full attention on Ashton, wanting to see his reactions and all about the arrest. That's why I never really absorbed that new information.

Well, it's not necessarily "new information" since his mom passed away four years ago, but Ashton has never really talked to me about her. Even Harry, Louis, Michael, or Niall don't mention her in a conversation. Ashton mostly avoids the topic and I just thought that maybe she's just not here in Sydney for some big reason. But to think that she's actually dead never occurred to me.

As I am processing this information and what Ashton just told me right now, I can't quite wrap my head around everything. What exactly did happen? How did his mother die? And why would Ashton say that he killed his mom?

I need answers but I can't force them out of him. As I look at him, my heart breaks at how helpless and broken he looks. He's literally clinging onto me and in tears. I have never seen Ashton like this. The only time I saw him letting tears fall down from his eyes was that one time in the hospital when I did something stupid and attempted to break up with him.

Ashton is the kind of person who doesn't always show his emotions. At least at the times that he feels so vulnerable.

"I'm nothing but a monster, Luke," he sobbed as he kept his gaze on the tombstone. "I killed my mother."

I reached out to hold his hand and I felt relief when he didn't pull away and let me hold him. I wanted to say something, to ask him my questions, but I don't know how to do that without letting him feel like he's being attacked.

He then turned to look at me and my heart broke even more as I looked into his tear-filled eyes and tear-stained cheeks. He's not hiding away his pain, sorrow, and regret anymore. It feels as if right now, he's finally inviting me in, and as he looks at me, it's like he's waiting for me to enter.

I locked my gaze with him as I gave him a gentle squeeze on the hand to let him know that I will go wherever he wants me to go and I have no hesitations about him right now. I am with him, whatever it is that he wants to tell me.

Ashton gave me a tight smile, but I could see that he showed relief in that, and I was relieved too that he understood my silent message. He sniffed and wiped his tear-stained cheek as he turned his gaze back onto the tombstone in front of us.

"I was around 14 when we - the family - realized that I do have serious anger issues. Well, that was when I was diagnosed. It was the first time that I was actually not able to control myself and I've seriously hurt someone. I went to therapies and I've had my medications and things were going okay after that. My family was all accepting and understanding...or so I thought."