Vapor [LASHTON AU]

20

hello.

an update that is earlier than intended. i did my best to be able to finish writing this today because for the next few days i will be so busy and might not have the time to write.

this is filled with a lot of errors (grammatical and typo) as i didn't have the time to review this one after i finished writing it so i apologize in advance. as i promised i will fix everything after i finish writing this whole fic.

also, starting this chapter, we are back on the usual which is in Luke's P.O.V.

enjoy!

---

~the day Harry came to see Ashton~

It's been a couple of days already and I've never seen Ashton nor heard from him since our little scene that morning in the kitchen in their apartment. I didn't block him again in my phone after I drunk called him that night and ended up sleeping in his apartment because I don't really see any point of doing it anymore. But he hasn't texted or called me since then too. And yeah, I'm not gonna lie, there's a part of me that misses that. There's a part of me that wants him to do that and to not want him to stop. There's a part of me that will always give Ashton a chance no matter how big his fault is.

But the thing is, until now, I'm still not ready for him. I'm scared. I'm scared that if we talk, everything will just end. I may have been in this relationship for two months but I am already so fucking in love with Ashton Irwin.

I know I should be doing that - that I should talk to him to clear everything but every time I try to think about it - about what I'm gonna ask him or say to him - I get scared. At some point, I know I would have to do that if I wanna move on with my life. But as of now, the pain and the fear still overpower my body and I don't have the strength yet to control it.

I am weak. I have always been weak so it's no surprise that I just let all of these things to happen and not do anything about or do something for myself to not get too overly affected about it.

People may find me stupidly funny for being like this over a two-month relationship that ended so soon, but what can I do? I'm a weak guy who let myself fall in love so easily with a man, I barely knew anything about. Yes, I've met his brother, I'm friends with his friends, but I don't really know anything about him.

Yet, despite that fact, I trusted him. I trusted him too much and look where it got me. I let myself be fooled by him - by his actions - and I ended up hurt and betrayed.

Everything has taken over me. I just couldn't move, physically and emotionally. I was even skipping my classes since last week because I just couldn't get myself to get out of my room and then there's the thing about Jesse too. I still can't face him after what happened but if I'm being honest, I'm not really affected by that. He did call me, though, but I didn't answer him. Not being rude, but honestly, he is the least of my concerns right now.

Today is another day that I decided to again spend in my room. I have no motivation to get out of bed. I just wanna be soaked in my bed and drown in my sorrows. It may sound dramatic but that's how I really feel right now.

I then suddenly heard a knock from outside while I am just lying in my bed and staring up at the ceiling. I didn't make a move because I know Calum will open the door. But only, the knock continues and it seems like I am the one obliged to go and see who it is.

With a sigh, I pushed the blanket away and moved out of my bed. I headed out of my room to the door as the knocking continues. I noticed that I am alone in the apartment as I made my way towards the door. Calum must have gone somewhere.