Secrets | Woosan

34

From now on I'm going to put ... to symbolize the start or end of a flashback

"Mr Choi, sir," one of the workers interrupted as he let San into the room where Wooyoung and Youngjin were still talking. The man bowed as San walked past him into the room before bowing once again and closing the door.

"Choi San...it has been quite some time," Youngjin beamed from across the room.

A small smile flickered across San's face as he made his way to where the two were sitting. "I apologize for such an absence Mr Lee, I have been doing the work of many people just to sort out my fathers...affairs to put it nicely." He stopped behind Wooyoung, resting a gentle hand on the younger's shoulder. "And I cannot thank you enough for taking care of Wooyoung on such short notice. Even though my father probably owes you a million favors, I personally owe you for this," San spoke gently since he was so close to the boy's ear.

Youngjin quickly waved a hand in the air before saying, "I'll have none of that! No more of this owing stuff, Mr Choi, you're like a son to me...I will always be ready to take care of you," he paused to glance over at Wooyoung, "or anybody close to you." He send the two one last smile before getting up and bowing. "I should excuse myself—I've had too much fun chatting with Mr Jung I have seem to forgotten I'm running a business here," Youngjin cut himself off with a laugh before finally saying, "make sure you come say goodbye before you leave."

"He's such a sweet man..." Wooyoung said softly when the door closed behind him.

San looked down at his boyfriend and sent him a soft smile. "I need to apologize to you, Wooyoung," he spoke quietly as he slid into the chair next to the younger.

Reaching out to grab one of San's hand, Wooyoung held it gently in his own, running his thumbs over the callouses lining the pads of his palm. "If anybody needs to apologize it should be me...not you," he whispered.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Wooyoung."

"Sannie—I whined like a baby about not being able to come...and it was stupid."

A quiet laugh slipped past San's lips as he reached out the  hand Wooyoung wasn't holding to stroke the boy's hair. "Well I was going to apologize for the way I talked to you when you did ask to come. Wooyoung, I want you to know about what I do, but I'd never be okay with you seeing it—or...or there being any chance something could happen to you," he spoke.

"No, I get it, you don't have to explain yourself." He paused for a few moments to look at the elder before asking, "did everything go okay then?"

The expression on San's face fell subtly at the question. "Did it go good? Not really...but everything got taken care of—so I guess it doesn't really matter now," he muttered. 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's not much to talk about...I just froze. It was the man that had already killed three of my men—and I just couldn't pull the trigger. Seonghwa was right behind me so he got the guy but...I don't know what happened."

...

"You're getting good at hitting the targets, son, I think it's time to practice on something a little different."

San looked back at his father, eyebrows knit together tightly in confusion. "What do you mean something different?" He asked, "what other kind of target is there?"

"Follow me and you'll see."

Reluctantly, San followed his father out of the shooting range, holding his small handgun at his side. Over the passing months, whenever San mastered shooting one type of gun, his father had him start all over on the next. Now that he had gotten used to shooting a hand gun, he was finished with learning how to use the different types.

"Not all targets are going to be stationary, San," his father spoke as he opened the door to one of numerous rooms he'd never been in before.

A gasp echoed through the room as San's eyes landed on a badly beaten man tied to a chair in the center of the room. "Father—why are you showing me t—"

"Silence!"

San flinched at the man's abrasive voice, listening to his order and falling quiet.

"Soon you will be joining me and my team on some outings. But before I can let you go with us—I need to know you'll be of use to me." His father made a gun with his fingers and held it up to the man tied to the chair, pretending to shoot him. "That's all you need to do," he spoke, a grin spreading across his face, "Now do it."

"Sh...shoot him? You want me to shoot that man?" San stuttered out.

His father held up a finger as he walked towards the man and hit his bloody cheek a few times, bringing him back to consciousness. The man slowly opened his eyes and looked around the room. He struggled against the ropes as he glanced at the gun in San's hands.

"You have three minutes," Mr Choi spoke simply before leaving the room.

"Please!" The man wailed, "I have a family! Don't hurt me!"

San stared at him with wide eyes, completely frozen. His eyes welled with tears when he raised the gun up. The machine shook violently in his hand as it pointed at the man. "I have to," San whispered, "I have to—I'm sorry."

"I have a newborn daughter! Please—she won't have a father!" He yelled, arms straining against the ropes as he attempted to get out of them, but to no avail.

"I'm so sorry..." San whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut as he squeezed the trigger. He turned towards the door with his eyes still shut, not wanting to see the body.

Finally opening the door, San saw his father standing outside, that same grin on his face. "You've surprised me, San. You're quite weak—I though I'd take a lot more to get you to pull the trigger. Maybe you're actually becoming a man."

✨✨✨

Although San wasn't a child anymore, he found himself sitting in his mother's lap, crying into her chest. He stayed completely silent, not having said a word for the past hour or so. His mother didn't bother to try and get him to talk about what happened, she just rubbed his back and let him get everything out.

"I love you, honey..." she whispered as she pressed a small kiss to the top of her son's head.

Finally lifting his head, San brought a hand up to wipe at his puffy eyes. His bottom lip quivered as he did so, more tears promptly racing down his cheeks. "Mom—my head hurts," he whispered at last.

She sent San a warm smile, trying to put on a brave face for the boy. "I know, San, I know," she spoke as she ran her fingers through the boy's hair, "Do you think you'd be able to eat something for me?"

San only shook his head as the tears began to flow faster once again. 

———

I don't know why writing about sans childhood makes me tear up—but it does 

Anyway Thanks for reading 💖