her? ⇢ chensung ✔

einundfünfzig

with jaemin's guidance, chenle paced slowly to the huge apartment where one of the tenants is apparently jaemin's cousin— a single father who takes care of his 4 year old daughter. having no other place as he was not allowed to enter nomin's dorms as he was no longer a college student, but rather a hopeless, heartbroken dropout.

pushing those thoughts aside, chenle knocked on the door, not knowing whether he even reached the correct place.

"bae, come out of there already, I know you're hiding there!"

a voice called out, followed by a few giggles from a child. the door opened to reveal a man carrying a little girl, and he looked as if he was at least 3 or 4 years older than him.

"oh, you must be the new tenant! come inside," he said cheerfully. "chenle, isn't that your name?"

chenle nodded wordlessly, his attention wandering to his new place to start his new life. soft lights dangled from the high ceiling, four couches surrounded the living room, and it still has enough place for daegal to run around, if he brought her with him in the first place.

"bae, go and show him where exactly his place is. daddy has some stuff to take care of," the man crouched down to let bae go and instructed her on what to do. she ran to chenle, tugging on his dress unwillingly.

chenle turned back to see the little girl looking at him questioningly, as if she is beckoning to someplace nearby. "come with me," she finally spoke out.

he followed the girl into a moderately big room, with things neatly arranged into boxes everywhere, although the place looked really old as there was dust piled up on the windows.

he threw his bag on to the squeaky bed, sighing as he did. the girl ran out the door, leaving him all alone to contemplate his decisions.

"it really has been so long after the last tenant left the place, that's why it is so dusty. hopefully, you don't have any dust allergies, right?"

he turned back to see the man beaming, leaning on the doorway. bae had ran off into her dad's room, making noise and what-not, leaving just the two alone.

"o-oh, uh, i don't have any allergies, so it's fine," chenle spoke out feebly, struggling to adjust to the man's friendliness. "are you the only tenant here...?"

"there are more people downstairs, but i would not advise you to go there, it's pretty easy to get lost," the man stated. "my husband used to frequently get stuck in there, trying to find his way back. i really have no clue what happens in there..."

"your husband...? is he not with you anymore...?" chenle asked concerningly.

"ah, well, he...passed away during a freak accident," the man's voice took a bittersweet tone. "it was 3 years ago."

chenle fell silent, feeling partly guilty over asking such a question. he drooped his head down, which made the man get slightly defensive.

"hey, it's alright that you asked me...people just happen to ask me without any remorse, and that's fine!" he stated, putting a reassuring hand on chenle's shoulder.

chenle's sobs reduced to sniffles as he sported a sad smile at him. "how...do you manage to spend each day without breaking down...?"

the man fell silent at the question before sighing and drooping his head down. "it's...hard, but i have to power through...or else who will take care of bae? i just think that he's up above, smiling at me and our little girl," he spoke out. "wait...do you...happen to go through the...same thing...?"

"uh, n-no...i broke up...with the one whom i love more than anything..." chenle stammered dejectedly. "i...just can't..."

"mind telling me the reason...? if you're comfortable, that is," the man asked comfortingly.

reluctantly, chenle told the whole story of how the two were roommates, the mishap he caused which made his mother think he's a female and the two were in a relationship...to how such a mishap caused one of his closest hyungs to cut ties with him.

chenle blamed himself for the whole ordeal, hadn't he became his roommate, nothing would have happened, and he could have lived his life freely.

"you...do realize this is not entirely your fault...right?" the man asked, listening to the story thoroughly. "there was no other choice for the both of you. you had to masquerade as a female for the sake of his parents."

chenle fell silent in denial, not exactly agreeing with what he said, yet nodded his head in agreement.

"and besides, it was a stupid move by his hyung to be infuriated about this. he didn't know your perspective on this. if he did, he won't be that angry with you."

chenle drooped his head down; what he said was entirely correct, although he still believed that he was in the wrong. "so...you're telling me it was wrong that i broke up with him...?"

"not exactly...breaking up was an extreme move, you could have just asked him to take a break from the relationship that was tiring the two of you out," the man stated. "considering how you sounded, you really want him back...don't you?"

"yes...but i had to break up...for another reason too..." chenle's voice was silent as a whisper.

"and what was that?" the man raised an eyebrow.

"i was tiring him out. he's one of the most diligent students out there before we both got together. he even wanted to stay away from every single distraction out there and focus mainly on his studies," chenle said, the stutter in his voice disappearing. "i was a slacker and was the exact opposite of him. i don't give any fucks about studies and was only spending my time in college to get away from my homophobic parents and spend their money as revenge. he rubbed off of my personality and gave less importance to his studies and even took days off to spend time with me. he was that selfless, and i realised that too late."

"and do you think he will be able to study after you left?" the man asked quite firmly.

"yes...he might be distraught for a while, but soon after, he'll get over it and pursue his studies," chenle spoke out. "he doesn't need any more distractions."

"that will end up in him being even more depressed. if he is willing to leave everything for you, he would be devastated for the rest of his college years," the man sighed. "and then, he won't be able to trust anyone after that. this is where you're at fault."

"then what am i supposed to do?! that dumbass won't learn either way, and will end up ruining his life! ugh, lord, i just wish i could just die at this point!" chenle snapped, and immediately broke down.

heaving a sigh, he pulled chenle into an embrace, letting him cry onto his shoulder. "i'm...i'm so sorry for screaming at you...it's just that i want him to be alright..." he choked out in between his sobs.

"it's alright...once you confront him about this, he'll be fine. and this is not completely your fault to begin with, please understand," the man breathed out. "are you going back to him...?"

"n-no...i need some time away...just tell him that i won't be coming back..." chenle sniffled after a few seconds of silence.

he broke the hug as he looked at chenle concerningly. "are you sure...about that...?"

chenle nodded in the affirmative, tears coming out of his eyes. the man, on the other hand, sighed and started to walk out the main door. "alright...i'll tell jaemin. just...don't do anything harsh to yourself while i'm gone, alright...?"

"w-wait...! i don't..know your name..yet..." chenle cried out to him.

"oh, right, my bad, i forgot to introduce myself..." he chuckled himself. "i'm jisung."

that name was enough for chenle's jaw to drop in surprise as he longingly looked at the door, waiting for his roommate who has the same name as his ex-boyfriend, to come back.

a/n: my lyon ass couldn't help it, alright?? i just love him so much, so i had to include him in the fic ;-; (joke not intended)

i (in)sincerely apologize for the amount of kunfusion that is going to happen in the future chapters 😔✋