her? ⇢ chensung ✔

fünfundfünfzig

it was another melancholic day for chenle.

ever since chenle explained to someone he considered his long lost brother-in-law about how he met his ex-boyfriend, guilt and longing struck him continuously like a never-ending thunderstorm, hurting him more and more progressively.

chenle clutched his knees as tears fell out of his eyes, a plethora of emotions bubbling up inside him like a sort of emotional concoction that could detonate any moment soon. he tried his best to not sob his heart out as he felt the world stopped spinning around him, in a static image of a drab, lifeless place.

he felt something pull on his clothes, which led him to cease his cries as his attention went to something else rather than his own mental turmoil. he looked up to see bae, who was looking at him with a rather curious expression.

"you alright...?" she queried, tilting her head in a seemingly adorable way.

chenle immediately pulled himself up and wiped his tears away, not trying to make the child worry about him anymore. his lips curled into a wobbly yet convincing smile as his voice took over a happier tone. "uh, y-yes, i'm fine, i just got something in my eyes, that's all..." he lied. "a-anyways...where's your dad?"

"dad went out to buy groceries. he said i have to take care of you and make sure you don't do anything stupid..." bae spoke out firmly, her voice laced with pride. chenle mused at the child, pretty much cooing silently at how cute she was being.

"oh, alright..." he spoke out, trying not to crack up. "anyways, do you want to play with me?"

"nah, mister, i'm too old for games," bae blurted out in the most confident voice she could ever muster, which made him choke on air as he tried not to laugh at the child's antics. "let's watch a movie instead!"

"alright...but i don't know how to switch on the tv..." chenle trailed off as he stared at the television which looked like it has not been touched in ages. "let alone the movie we're going to watch..."

"don't worry about that, i'll handle it..." bae trailed off as she waddled off to the table where the television was situated— which was comically larger than bae's actual height itself, and climbed on the wood almost effortlessly. she crawled behind the mysterious black screen, switched on a few things out of sight, and almost magically, the television sprung into life, the screen blinking with vivid images.

bae jumped off the table and walked over to chenle, beaming proudly in the process. "so this is how you switch on the tv, got it?" she queried, to which chenle nodded vigorously, not only in agreement, but to the child's amusing sense of self-confidence.

"alright, now what are we going to watch?" chenle queried, to which bae immediately held up a copy of a movie he never thought he would ever see in a child's hands. "shrek!" she squealed gleefully.

chenle was basically out of words at that one word she spoke out, but agreed to watch it nevertheless. bae inserted the disc on to what she dubbed, 'the box that eats cds', although it was just a dvd reader.

she then ran towards chenle and climbed up on his lap, manually grabbing his hand and placing it on her lap, indicating chenle to cuddle with her. and he did, as he started to seek comfort in the child's presence even when jisung, both jisungs to be specific, were not there with him.

"my mom used to watch shrek with me like this all the time, too bad he's not here," bae frowned, her eyes dead set on the movie. "dad said he'll be back when i grow up into a big girl, but sometimes, i want him back..."

before chenle could speak a single word, bae cut him off. "will he come back to me?" she queried.

sighing, chenle's grip on the child grew ever-so-slightly stronger, not wanting to let her go. "of course he will, he wants to see you grow up as a big girl, right?"

"yeah, but..." bae trailed off as she snuggled closer to him, clutching his arm like her life depended on it. "...right now, you're enough because you can already see i'm a big girl. you remind me so much of my mom..."

chenle's heart practically melted at the child's actions. he sighed as he pat her shoulder reassuringly. "of course, your mom is so proud of you."

🍂

jisung stared lifelessly at the bowl of ramen that heuningkai made for him, stirring it around with his spoon like a child being a picky eater, except that it was not a tantrum; it was his slow path to depression.

heuningkai sighed as he looked at his best friend, who almost looked as if he was dead. his eyes were partly open due to sleep deprivation, his hair was a complete mess and if heuningkai were to notice his condition a bit more, he could see he was sometimes convulsing like if he had some sort of a tic.

"please. i need to go to classes and i don't want you to sit and starve the whole day..." heuningkai sighed as he placed his hand on jisung's shoulder, slightly shaking him to get any sort of reaction from his stoic best friend.

to his relief, jisung glanced over at his meal and decided to help himself, although his appetite was basically non-existent. seeing the unnerving yet annoyingly slow pace, heuningkai grabbed his bag and headed out the door, before bidding farewell.

immediately after he heard the door shut, jisung felt his head collapse on the table, groaning as he did. he felt nothing but the inexplicable feeling of something being torn away from him, practically eating up his sanity in the process. sighing, he closed his eyes, trying to take a small escape from reality, until—

his phone started to vibrate.

groaning, jisung reluctantly pulled himself up, cursing at whoever who decided it was a great time to call him, until he froze. it was his mom, someone whom he didn't call in quite a while.

sighing, he took the call. "what is it, mom...? i told you, i'll be visiting you during the holidays..."

"oh lord, baby, what happened to your voice?!" she gasped as she listened to her son's almost-ill voice speak out with a lot of difficulty. "should i come over and bring you home?"

"i-it's...nothing mom, i'm just a bit sick...nothing else..." jisung lied through his teeth as he tried his level best to sound alright. "a-anyways...why'd you call me...?"

"nothing, i was just wondering how chenle is right now..." she spoke out. "it's been a while since we talked, can you give the phone to her?"

jisung's frame froze as he heard chenle's name being brought up into the conversation. words struggled to come out of his mouth as his mind raced to cook up a lie as fast as he could. "oh, uh, s-she's not here, mom, she went back to her home for a vacation...she'll come back in...i guess, a week or something."

fortunately, she did buy his almost comically stupid claim as she let out a sigh. "alright...i understand. just...take care of yourself too, alright...? and do tell her that i miss her so much..."

"more than your own son...?" jisung let out a small sad joke, which hurt him more than he expected it to be.

"of course not! i'm just giving a little bit more attention towards her, because you don't sound too enthusiastic on hearing your own mom's voice," she ended up ranting her actual feelings out. "anyways, i'm not going to disturb you, alright? see you later, ji."

and with that said, she hung up the call, leaving jisung all alone once again. he sighed as the same pang of guilt and longing struck him once again, leaving him in a cold abyss where he was completely helpless and blind, torn off of any sort of warmth and affection whatsoever.

"please...come back to me..." he groaned out as he burst into tears.

a/n: it sometimes fucking hurts when no one's there for you when you need them, and then when they do reach out after the damage has already been done, you have no choice but to rant to them even when you don't want to because you felt like your trust in them is already broken, and if you don't, you'll be shunned because apparently, you're a bitch for throwing a tantrum.

...sorry for that. anyways, i apologize for this late of an update, and new update's going to be delayed, that's all, bye.