her? ⇢ chensung ✔

vierundfünfzig

heuningkai slowly paced towards the door with the utmost care, his hands carrying a pile of heavy books as he did. sighing, he lightly kicked the door which swung by, letting him in.

as he expected, the dorm was uncannily silent for the few hours he was not available, and the door to jisung's room was closed shut. deafening silence grew as it felt like he was exploring the cavern of someone who died long time ago.

heuningkai gently placed the stack of books on the couch and approached jisung's door, knocking on it gently. "open the door, ji. you've been huddled up inside all day..."

no response came from jisung's side, not even a single groan or cry for help.

heuningkai frowned as his knocks amplified ever-so-slightly, concern bubbling up inside him. "ji...? open the door for fuck's sake, i don't want you to drown in guilt this whole time already..."

still no response.

groaning, he tried to push open the door, but something was blocking his way. nevertheless, he used all his might, only to be greeted with something he never thought he would ever witness.

jisung was curled up into a ball, sniffling while being half-unconscious, clutching a bottle of alcohol like his life depended on it. his leg was what was blocking the door, not letting him in. thankfully, the bottle was intact, even though it was on the brink of breaking, indicating heuningkai that he did not hurt himself in the process.

heuningkai immediately fell to his knees and grabbed the bottle, keeping it aside. he slipped his hands underneath jisung's frame and pulled him up, dragging him to the couch. jisung could not help but let out a small weak groan as the sudden light stung his eyes.

jisung slowly opened his eyes, his vision adjusting to the light as he took notice of his best friend looking at him with concern and a slight bit of frustration. "w-why are you here, kai...?" he spoke out, his voice sick and raspy.

no words came from heuningkai for a few moments that felt like years.

"ji...what is this...? why are you trying to throw your life away like this...?" he spoke out in a voice as quiet as a whisper. "why...are you throwing away your dreams, your life and basically everything you ever had...?"

jisung could not help as sniffles took over him, which slowly amplified into tears blurring his vision. he drooped his head down as he quietly introspected himself, trying to force heuningkai's point into his adamant mind. even though heuningkai did speak what one could consider as pure tautology since whatever jisung was doing was wasteful on his part, but at the same time, every single sliver of progress he ever made, felt like nothing to him.

even though he had worked hard day and night to reach where he is right now, he cannot progress more without chenle by his side, comforting him and supporting him mentally like he always does, to the point where it is almost impossible to feel like a human without his presence.

even if he had his friends, his hyungs, every single person who supports him on his obstacle filled pathway of college graduation, it always felt as if he had a lack of something that would deem himself as a human instead of a mechanical robot who has no other goal than to finish his education and get a mainstream and stable job.

that void in his heart was filled none other than by chenle himself, being the one entity he had lacked not only during his time in college, but for his entire life.