her? ⇢ chensung ✔

dreiundsechzig

tw // slight mentions of self-harm

the rain subsided as the clouds gave way for the gradual sunshine to diffuse into the murky teal sky, brightening the hue to a bland but yellowish grey as the sun gradually rose up from the horizon.

jisung had not gotten a wink of sleep the whole night, staring at a random object in front of him which was rather an obscure mess in the dim room for his vision to register. sniffling, he squirmed uncontrollably, dried up tears staining his face. tired and quivering limbs hastily pulled himself up as he decided to take a walk out of the place to clear out his mind which was clearly going insane.

he paced slowly down the stairs, working his way through the really familiar hallway as it used to be the walls where he would have made out with chenle when no one was looking, to the back door where most college students go out to do questionable things which are not allowed in the dorms.

opening the squeaky wood, jisung stepped out, the cool morning breeze making him shiver. he glanced at the sky, still in a gradient spreading from night to daybreak. he sighed in relief as he relished quiet moments like these, where there was nothing to disturb him— just him, the crickets and the soft fresh breeze.

but the quiet only felt worse this time.

the deafening silence only meant the absence of the love of his life. without chenle's dolphin screams, no matter how annoying they were, jisung could not help but embrace that side of him dearly as a part of his quirks.

god, he missed chenle so bitterly, he would kill to bring him back, one way or another.

sighing, jisung composed himself as he strolled to a nearby park, trying to clear out his overthinking. he wandered through the wet grass, posture drooping down as he aimlessly leaned onto whichever trees he ended up crashing onto, stumbling over nothing like if he was wasted.

not having the energy to stand up anymore, he fell adjacent to a tree, curling up into a ball as his expression became stoic and dead, sniffling every now and then. he felt his vision blur gradually into a green mess of nothing but agony, until he heard a very familiar voice.

"ji...why are you here...? a-aren't you supposed to be-"

"why are you awake right now, kai...? i thought you already had other things to do than follow me here," jisung spat out harshly, cutting heuningkai off as he buried his face in his knees, letting a muffled groan as he did. "just leave me alone already..."

composing himself, heuningkai heaved a deep breath in annoyance, grabbed jisung's wrist and pulled him up with all his strength, using both his hands when jisung refused to comply. reluctantly, jisung gave in and pulled himself up, groaning in the process. "i'm not letting you rot in sadness all this time even if you left me to stay with your hyungs. you're staying with me until jaemin-hyung wakes up."

"i...don't w-want to..." jisung's voice gradually started to chip away for he was at the edge of breaking down any moment soon. he drooped his head as tears started to stain his face once again, fidgetting with his fingers. "there's...no need for that...a-after all...i don't want to live a-any longer..."

that was enough for heuningkai to strengthen his grip on his best friend. "what happened...? don't you...want to stay with hyung anymore...? and what's with the suicidal shit, should i tell that to hyung then?" heuningkai did not mean to retort the last sentence out loud in clear ignorance, but he could not help it.