||You're Mine|| {Scrutinized: Tanner x Reader}

Chapter 62

Tanner

I tucked the folded piece of paper I had just finished writing underneath the vase on my dining room table, when Adam emerged from the basement. We met eyes, but then I immediately turned away from him in shame.

Oscar, who was waiting by the front door with crossed arms looked up, face serious. "Is he doing alright?"

Adam snapped his attention away from me and just nodded. "Clint's awake. He says he feels a lot better, but I don't think it's safe to make him walk with us."

Oscar nodded, his gaze turning to the floor. There was an awkward tension in the air. Ever since Y/N left, it feels as if everyone's mood became sour.

Adam sighed, turning to me again. "Hey... we're not just going to leave Y/N in the dark. She's angry, so just give her some time."

His words were supposed to make me feel better, I suppose. But instead, it just made my head ache even more. My chest was heavy, and I feel like I'm just completely broken.

She hates me. She hates me now, and there was probably nothing I can do to have her forgiveness. Clenching my jaw tightly, I nodded. "Yeah."

Oscar sighed, his hands fumbling together. "Are we ready to leave?"

"H-hang on a sec." I choked out the words, but they didn't even register to me. I was completely out of tune with my surroundings, mind still wandering back to Y/N's angry face.

Adam's eyes softened with concern. "You okay?"

I didn't respond. Instead, I just kept my head low and made my way into the bedroom, stomach churning, head spinning.

Once I knew the door was closed, I pressed my back against the cool surface, gazing up at the ceiling. I reached up and pressed a hand against my chest, breathing heavily.

I didn't want anyone to know what was breaking down inside me. Y/N's words kept ringing in my head.

"You are a monster."

"I'm not yours, Tanner."

"I hate you Tanner. I fucking hate you."

Those three things. Y/N's anger prominent in her trembling voice. They just keep repeating, swirling around inside my head and heart like a tornado. The tornado was ripping my heart into shreds.

"M-maybe..." I choked, surprised by my sudden words. "Maybe... she will forgive me if I stopped killing people..."

I stumbled forward, catching myself in the process. The world was a blur, and all I could feel right now, was the ache in my chest.

"Maybe... she will come back... if I were a man?" I lifted my head to my table full of syringes and bottles, placed neatly on top of the smooth surface. "A normal man. A kind man who never wanted to hurt anyone..."

I dragged my heavy feet over to the table, everything else in my line of sight obscured. As I stared down at it, I could feel heat overwhelming my body. My fingers began to tremble and flex.

That heat was anger. Anger towards myself. My whole life, I killed for my own enjoyment, and people have always looked up at me with fear before I take their life away. And I would always relish that fear.

And, people I know will never see me as a kind, normal man. Someone who wouldn't hurt anyone. Including myself.

A loud shout escaped me as I raised both hands, and brought them down as hard as I could. I slammed them against the table, knocking all the contents to the floor.

"Y/N..."

Saying her name out loud, it felt as if I didn't even deserve that. Something warm trickled down my cheek, and I immediately wiped it away, jaw clenched. I didn't deserve her after what I did.