The Sun & The Stars - Jegulus Oneshots

I wish I were Lily [part 1/2]

Authors note: hey guys, welcome to my new obsession: Regulus Black.
I've liked him for years, but we've seen a rise of content since tiktok and I am positively obsessed with him James now - all thanks to Conan Gray and a certain TikToker. Anyways, enjoy

Summary: Sirius ran away from home and Regulus feels lost. If losing the brotherly love between him and Sirius - how bad would romantic heartbreak be? Regulus does not want to find out.
Unfortunately, since he refuses to talk to Sirius, James starts asking him about home and how he is doing, to ease Sirius' mind.
Unfortunately, James is caring and kind and Regulus falls in love with him.

Inspired by the song Heather by Conan Gray

◇◇◇

I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater
You said it looked better on me than it did you
Only if you knew how much I liked you
But I watch your eyes as she
Walks by
What a sight for sore eyes
Brighter than the blue sky
She's got you mesmerized while I die
[...]
Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand
Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder
But how could I hate her? She's such an angel
[...]
Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester
But you like her better
Wish I were...

◇◇◇

Growing up, Regulus didn't know much about love. His home wasn't exactly overflowing with admiration and benevolence. Love didn't have a place in his family or his home.

There was of course his older brother Sirius. He had always looked up to Sirius. He had been the bright star of his life – his protector, his secret keeper, his confidant.

But then Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor and Regulus in Slytherin, and home life got worse, and Sirius was so far away... further and further away... and then he was completely gone. He had left a note. Regulus said, he never read it, he burned it right away. In reality, he had kept it under his pillow, until he had memorized the words.

"If you ever need me, come to me. If you ever want to leave too, come to me. I love you – Sirius."

And then home got worse.

And thus, Regulus realized the only love he ever had, his brotherly love, was gone.

And if losing this kind of love hurt as much as it did, then how bad would romantic love be? Because the pain of Sirius leaving, the sight of his empty seat, the sight of his smile at the Gryffindor table – it was like an anchor pulling Regulus deeper and deeper into a black ocean. He couldn't come up and he couldn't die.

And he thought he will never love anyone or anything again – no matter what kind of love.

His parents did not seem to love each other in any capacity – the only thing his mother loved was torture – so life like that was possible. It was his best outlook: Inherit the family fortune, get married to produce some heir.

So, this was the plan.

And then James Potter came along.

It started shortly after Sirius had left. Regulus was ignoring his brother at Hogwarts and Potter somehow thought, the next logical step would be for him to try to talk to him for Sirius.

The Slytherins were leaving the Quidditch pitch after their practice session. Regulus was taking his time and trailing behind the others. James was early for his own practice. Regulus left the changing rooms and practically ran into the Gryffindor.

"Whoa, slow down there, Black," James laughed and held him by the shoulders.

Regulus automatically stepped back at the touch.