The Sun & The Stars - Jegulus Oneshots

Whose Baby is He Anyway? [SMUT]

Summary: Marlene McKinnon keeps calling Regulus "Baby Black" - which he absolutely despises. At a party he declares there in only ONE person who gets to call him "Baby."
James, who sleeps with Regulus whenever he lets him and might just be in love with him, decides he has to find out who gets to call his lover "Baby" - does he have competition he needs to know about? Or is it just one of Reggie's obnoxious friends?

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Regulus can say he hates Gryffindor parties as much as he wants, but it evidently doesn't stop him from showing up for every single one. He brings his friends sometimes and although they spread through the entire castle how "lame" their parties are, they seem to have a good time.

It's Saturday. The music is good. The bodies are warm with booze. Regulus is sitting on the couch, info-ranting about something. He is hot when he is info-ranting, especially when drunk. James and Sirius are sitting on the ground in front of the couch. James hasn't taken his eyes off Regulus for about thirty minutes now. He is afraid to even blink in case he misses a particularly beautiful angle.

Marlene is sitting on the couch next to him, getting into his face.

"Come on, Baby Black," she exclaims when Regulus ends his info-rant by taking a large sip from his drink. "Admit it: Our parties are better than yours!"

"Your parties are rubbish! And s'op calling me Baby Black."

"Oh, Baby Black, Baby Black, Baby Black! You're so cute, Baby."

Regulus pushes his finger into her shoulder. "There is only one – one – person who is allowed'o call me Baby, and i's not you," he slurs.

Sirius sits up at that. "What? Who's allowed to call you Baby?"

"No' you."

"Oh my god, do you have a lover? You have a lover who calls you baby? Oh, that's so cute – I want to throw up."

"Fuck off."

"My brother has a lover. Brother has a lover. Brother has a lover!"

"Shu' up, Sirius!" Regulus kicks against his shoulder. "Idiot."

"Brother has a lover. Brother has a lover. Brother has a lover. Brother has a lover. Brother has a lover!"

Regulus kicks against his head.

"Ow! Fucking arsehole!"

"Shu'up, you're jus' jealous because you can't pull anyone and no one wan's'o fuck you and no one will ever call you baby."

"Pfft, I don't want anyone to call me baby."

"Yeah? Why are you acting like one all the time then?"

"You're an arsehole when you drink."

"I'm always an arsehole. And the one who calls me baby loves it."

"Who is it?" Sirius pokes Regulus' leg repeatedly. "Reggie. Reggie. Reggie. Reggie. Reggie. Reggie. Reggie. Reggie."

"Fuck off!"

"Reggie. Reggie. Reggie. Who is it? Tell me! Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me."

Regulus claps his hands. "I. will. Staple. Your. Mouth. Shut."

"Who is allowed to call you baby? Do'ya have a girlfriend?"

"Fuck off. I do no' have a girlfriend."

Sirius gasps. "Do you have a friends with benefits? Oh, Reggie, you slut."