The Sun & The Stars - Jegulus Oneshots

Smash or Pass [fluff]

Summary: Remus and Sirius just moved in together. Their friends get a hold of his Family Photos and decide to play Smash or Pass - until James sees pictures of a particularly beautiful young man, immediately wants to meet him, and vows to marry him.
Much to Sirius' horror, this man isn't some distant, long-dead cousin but his brother.
Much to James' delight, this brother is coming to Sirius' housewarming party at the end of the week.

It's modern marauders. Wizards have phones. I don't care. Fuck JK Rowling.

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Sirius and Remus just moved into their new flat. Their friends helped them with carrying boxes and unpacking all day, now sitting together on the living room floor having a beer to end the day.

"Ha!" Sirius' voice comes from the bedroom. He joins his friends with a box in his hand and a grin on his face. "Found it!"

"Found what?" Lily asks and leans over his shoulder.

"Family pictures. My brother sent me a whole collection when our parents died, and he cleaned out the old house. He thought he was so funny for that, little shit." The smirk on his face tells clearly, he isn't mad at his brother for it. If anything, he is excited to see him in a few days for the housewarming party.

"Uh, Black family photos, let's see where you got those genes from," Lily says and pulls the box to her.

Marlene, with her head in Dorcas' lap, perks up. "Let's play Smash or Pass!"

Sirius pulls a face. "Please, that's my family. You can't play smash or pass with them."

"We definitely can," Remus winks at him, "Gotta make sure I got the hottest one of your dynasty for myself."

"You did. I can tell you that."

Lily shakes her head. She has a stack of photos in her hands and places one in the middle of their circle. It shows a young woman with blonde hair and red-painted lips.

"Smash," Dorcas yells immediately.

"Double smash," Marlene agrees, "Who's she?"

"My cousin Narcissa. Married Malfoy, the Slytherin prefect when we just started, you remember? An awful man."

"Oh no, we should rescue her from that marriage," Mary says, "Smash."

James grins and scoots between the girls to see the picture better. "Oh, yeah, smash. Pete, what do you say?"

Peter shrugs. "Pass."

"What?" Marlene exclaims, "Are you blind?"

"She's just not my type," Peter shrugs.

"I can't with you sometimes."

"I pass too," Remus says.

Peter points at his friend. "Why isn't he getting shit for passing?"

"Because he's gay, Pete. Lily, next picture."

Lily puts a few more pictures in the middle, most of them still showing Narcissa. Then she and some other girls with square faces and dark eyes, one brunette, the other with black hair.

"Smash, Smash, Smash!" Marlene grins and steals one of the photos.

"Oh yes, smash," Dorcas nods eagerly.

"I pass on the sisters," Mary says, "Though the brunette one is pretty."

"Smash on both," Lily says with a shrug, "James?"

"She gives weird vibes," James says, pointing at the black-haired woman.

"This isn't about vibes, Potter. This is about hotness," Marlene claps her hands.