Let God Be The Author: Chapter 2

Chapter 16

Elisha's POV:

If you look at me closely, you can see that every now and then when I turn away from the crowd, my smile disappears and I become a different person for a few seconds.

A sad person who is depressed and broken. And after a few depressing seconds I turn back to the crowd, smiling and joking around. Everyone thinks I'm happy but they don't know the pain I feel inside.

I saw the lipstick stain on his t-shirt. I knew the smell of her perfume and it was definitely coming from his body. I knew what he did yesterday, but my heart refused to accept it.

My heart ached as I remembered the vows he proclaimed in front of our family and friends on our wedding day. He promised to protect me from anyone or anything that could hurt me, not knowing that he would have to protect me from himself.

"What are you doing up here?" A voice startled me.

"Just looking at the sky." I turned around, wiping the single tear that was falling slowly down my rosy cheek.

Standing near the exit door with his tight-fitted work clothes and curly brown hair, stood the famous Samuel with two drinks in his hands.

"All alone at the roof top?" His eyebrows quirked as he handed me pone of the beverages.

"Yeah," I kindly accepted the drink, "I just needed some time alone, away from humans. Just wanted to isolate myself with my thoughts and God."

His eyes survey each and every muscle in my body, not buying into my story.

"Well...do you mind if I join you?" He asked, already taking a seat besides me on the concrete ground, "Maybe you'll tell me why you're crying as well."

His comforting eye-smile brought me at ease for a bit, making my mouth curve into a light smile for a split second.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." I pushed through the tears, not wanting to burden him with my life problems.

He already had a lot on his plate with running a top notch private hospital and being a single-parent. Me venting to him would only bring more problems into his life.

"You sure?" He gave me a doubting look, his brows knitted together as horizontal lines appeared on his forehead.

"Im okay..." I nodded but I knew I wasn't.

Putting on a smile that barely reached my ears, my mind raced back to the memory of Bennet calling me a nagger instead of a wife.

The way he looked at me as if I'm worthless, inadequate. The way he ignored me in the morning. The way I went to bed, wondering why I wasn't enough.

"Stop trying to smile through the pain because you're only fooling yourself. I know that you're hurting so just let it out."

And that's when it all came crumbling down. I couldn't take it anymore and I found myself crying in pain and heartbreak. Like a dam wall bursting and letting out gallons of water, tears flowed down uncontrollably, that even breathing became a struggle.

"Please don't look at me." I turned away, not wanting Samuel to see me in this state. "Just leave alone."

Pushing his arm away for the second time, I angrily wiped my tears away as my pain slowly turned into fury.

"I deserve more than this." I expressed between my sobs, "I dont deserve this nonsense that I'm being given! Why am I putting in 100%, only to receive 1%."

The more I talked, the harder it was for me to breath but I shrugged it off. I always held back when expressing how I truly felt to Bennet because I didn't want our arguments to escalate. But I had had it at this point. I was sick and tired.

"Doesnt it break your heart to have someone you love look at you straight in the eye and lie. The worst part is knowing that they must think you're either stupid, naive or just so into them that they can do whatever they want and get away with it."

With every word I said, I could feel my airways clogging up with no oxygen passing through.

"Some people will never cheat no matter how hard things are; others will always cheat no matter how good they have it."

"Elisha calm down!" Instructed Samuel, grabbing me by the shoulders and telling me to take deep breaths because I was hyperventilating.

"Don't tell me..."

Before I finished my sentence, my airways became even more narrow, completely rejecting any form of air.It was as if a person was strangling me with both hands clasped around my thin neck.

I was having a panic attack.

"Stay calm Elisha! Stay calm! Stay calm!" Samuel kept repeating in a soothing tone "I got you. Its gonna be okay, you're going to be okay."

As I replicated him taking deep breaths, my panic attack started to fade away and my heartrate went back to normal.

Humiliation seized my body as I looked at the worried man in front of me with widened eyes.

"Im so sorry." I said, droping my head down out of embarrassment.

"You don't have to apologise." He replied, pulling me into a tight hug, "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on from time to time. If you're going through a lot and you need someone to talk to, come to me. I might not have any solutions but I'll definitely listen to you."

"T-thank you." I said under my breath, smiling geniuly for the first time today.

Yes, Samuel had hurt me so much in the past but I was so thankful that God brought him back into my life. He was the one person who, for some weird reason, I felt comfortable with. He felt like family, the brother that I never had. He reminded me of home, the place I missed the most.

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HOPE YOU ENJOYED.

STAY HEALTHY, BLESSED AND OBVIOUSLY LOVED ❤

*Remember that God loves you.