Let God Be The Author: Chapter 2

Chapter 18

Elisha's POV:

Scrolling through the TV for the hundreth time, I could feel my eyes becoming heavier as I passed each channel with less energy.

Previously, I had been watching the Cowboys being grilled by the prestigious and feared Eagles, ending the match with a painful 45-15 loss.

When the referee blew the final whistle, all I wanted to do was jump into the TV screen and give Bennet a nice, big, warm hug. Yes I was still fuming at him but my love overpowered that anger. It was as if, no matter the amount of torture he put me through, my heart still cried for him only.

Arghh...why did love have to be like this.

Changing into a more comfortable position on the coach, my eyes landed on my still flat stomach carrying life inside. It felt so surreal that I was 4 weeks pregnant, heading to my 5th week.

Mothers always say that no love can compare to the one you have for your child. I never understood the full meaning of that concept until I saw the two lines on that pregnancy test.

"Hello my little baby." My lips curved into a smile as those words flowed out my mouth so effortlessly. "Mommy can wait to have you the in real world; to see your first smile, to hear your first giggle and definitely to know whose eyes you have."

A chuckled escaped as I remembered the day Ben and I were arguing about that.

"I want you to know that although I haven't seen you face to face, I'm already so in love with you. You are the only thing that's holding me together at the moment and mommy is so grateful for that."

Almost out of instinct, I found my hands roaming around my pregnant belly as if there was already a baby bump. At some point, I felt a tiny kick but soon realised that it was impossible because that could happen between 16 and 24 weeks of pregnancy.

"Daddy has changed, a lot. I don't know why and how but he did and it's hurting mommy, a lot, more than he can ever imagine." My heart tugged as I said those words, "But I promise you that I won't give up on him that quickly, for your sake. Mama loves you so so much and she will do everything in her power to make sure you get everything you need."

Pushing my head down to kiss my abdomen, I broke out into laughter at how ridiculous I looked from the reflection of the screen.

It felt good to appreciate life and to find humour instead of crying at all the misery that surrounded me. I soon realised that if anyone should have the power of dicating the way I view my life, it should be me.

For the longest of time I had been crying about being cheated on and not feeling beautiful or enough, that I was completely oblivious to all the blessings that God had granted me. I was so focused on my misery that I didn't even look at my miracles.

How selfish I had been.

Slowly getting off the comfort of my couch, I kneeled down in front of the tiny coffee table decorated with ornaments.

"Gracious Lord," I slowly exhaled, getting ready to express every emotion of gratitude I was feeling, "Thank you for providing me with an opportunity to conceive this child. I praise you for giving me this magnificent miracle of bringing new life. I pray Father, that you may bless me with strength and good health throughout this pregnancy and You shall never leave my side. In Jesus's name, may this child be a blessing to Bennet and I's life, Amen."

The moment I opened my eyes, it was as if the Lord had taken a load of emotional baggage off my weary shoulders. It was as if He had taken my eyes, cleaned them then shoved them back in my socket. My problems hadn't changed but the one that was fighting them did. I wasn't alone anymore, the Lord was by my side.