Let God Be The Author: Chapter 2

Chapter 32

Ben's POV:

We finally arrived at Elisha's booked hotel and while she yanked her heels  off and headed down the narrow passage, in search of a first aid kit, I stayed in the kitchen, hunched over the sink and consumed by my own thoughts.

"You don't deserve her. You'll just end up hurting her again..."

The more I tried shaking off what Asher said, the more his words seemed to haunt me. It felt like I was swimming against a strong current and the more I fought back, the more fatigued I became.

Was he telling the truth? Did his words have some truth behind them?

"Make yourself at home!" Her voice echoed as her feet thumped on the wooden floor. "And there's water in the fridge if you're thirsty."

Though she continued rambling about whatever she was saying, my mind was in another place, somewhere far away.

"Don't let it get to you Ben." I grunted, covering my face as I expelled a heavy breath. "He was just drunk." I tried to reason but I knew it was a losing game.

Although Asher was under the influence, he spoke nothing but the truth. Yes he was intoxicated but as they say, a drunk man tells no lies.

"Is everything ok?" Elisha came waltzing in the kitchen with the long awaited medical bag.

Plopping it on a nearby chair, concern overpowered her face as she maintained strong eye contact, raising her brows.

"I'm fine." I replied but deep down I knew I wasn't. Something was eating me up and I didn't want to address it.

"Are you sure?" She questioned again, moving closer and hoping I'll talk but no. I simply nodded my head and turned my back.

"I'm fine." I assured. "Just thinking, that's it."

Turning around to face her again, I wore a half smile that was barely convincing to myself. My face said one thing but my eyes seemed to say another.

They were gloomy. Sad. Depressed. They lacked their shine. They weren't vibrant anymore. They weren't accompanied by a smile.

"You don't deserve her. You'll just end up hurting her again..."

"If you say so." She shrugged but not buying the story, unzipping the medical kit and fishing out an antiseptic, gauze, bandage and a clean towel.

"Hold still... this might hurt a bit."

Going up on her toes, she gently pressed the wet towel on my face, wiping away all the smeared blood under my nose and cheek area.

She then grabbed the gauze, poured with antiseptic, and lightly pressed it on my cheek, receiving a hiss as I pulled back in pain.

"Sorry." She muttered, retrieving her steady hand.

I didn't say anything for a while but continued to look at the medical equipment scrawled on the counter.

"You don't deserve her. You'll just end up hurting her again..."

"Im sorry for ruining your evening today." My voice cut the dragging silence. "Maybe I should have left as soon as I saw you. If I had done that then maybe we wouldn't be in this position, right now."

Her hand came to a sudden halt as she titled her head. "Why are you apologising so much. It's not your fault."

I looked down and met her gaze which was set on my face already. I decided this was the moment to rip the bandaid off. This was the moment to lay everything on the table.

"I guess it's because I feel like I'm holding you back in some sense. A matter of loving you, but knowing that you deserve much more than what I'm offering."

She said nothing, not even looking at me, simply covering my cut with a plaster.

"You deserve a man of God who will love you and never hurt you. You deserve the world and I'm not that. Every night, I go down on my knees and pray that you find a man who will treat you the way that I know I never can cause I've hurt you so much, to a point where I think I'm not deserving of your love anymore."

"The moment I laid my eyes on you at the ball, it was like the first time I realised I was in love with you. But after being in your presence again, I feel like it is better if you move on without me."

She did nothing. Said nothing. Didn't move a single inch.

"So what are you implying, that we divorce?" Her voice was shaky as tears shone in her eyes.

"I'll always be there for you as a friend but unfortunately not as your husband. It's not what I want but I think it's the best thing for you, for us. I don't want another chance of hurting you like I've done before."

Cupping her teary face with my hands, I could feel tears begin to prick in my own eyes too.

"So this is it? This is the ending?" She whispered, breaking down.

I nodded, unable to say yes. It was too painful.

"Ben I don't want anyone else but you! Yes, you've hurt me but you're the only person whom I want to wipe my tears away. And I understand that you're not perfect but to me...you're enough. You make me happy."

"Elisha I cheated on you for goodness sakes!" My lip began to quiver. "I cheated! I was unfaithful! I lied! I entertained another person outside our marriage. I embarrassed you...in front of the whole world! Why are you doing this to yourself?"

And after some time, I dropped the strong facade and let the salty tears brim down my cheek.

"I can't do this to you." I finally said, my voice cracking. "I don't want to."

"Well you gonna have to find a way because I'm not letting you go." Stubbornness filled her voice as she raised her head. "Yeah...a lot has happened between us but I still love you. So no... I'm not willing to let you go, you're gonna have to put up with me forever and ever, until death do us part."

A few beats of silence.

"And I won't take no for an answer because I know you don't want to let go of me too. I know that you love me."

At this point she was fully crying, her head buried deep into my chest.

I don't know how long we stood there, holding onto each other wordlessly, but it made the moment even more agonizing to the heart. Our love was like tangent lines which were once together then parted forever.

"I should go." I whispered, enough for her to hear, pulling back to create some space between us. "My limo should be here by now."

Moving out of her sight and grabbing my blazer which hung over a chair, I made my way to the door, my feet becoming heavier with every step I took.

I could hear her silent sobs. Her painful tears landing on the floor.

"Ben?" She cried, standing in the middle of the hallway, broken. "If you leave, this will mean forever. You're not allowed coming back."

A pleading look filled her eyes that broke me inside. I was leaving her. I was actually leaving her.

"Goodbye Elisha." I opened the door and left, taking one last glance that I will never forget.

"You don't deserve her. You'll just end up hurting her again..."

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Hello beautiful people ✝️

The cry I had whilst writing this chapter 😭😭😭. This is probably the saddest chapter that I've written so far.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please feel free to comment on what you think and don't forget to like and follow me if you feel generous.

STAY HEALTHY AND BLESSED AND OBVIOUSLY LOVED ❤❤