Forever (Chicago PD:Burzek)

Chapter 56

Yet again Adam found it impossible to fall asleep, it was the third night in a row, Kim out cold beside him.

He carefully got out of the bed carful not to wake Kim up, the last thing he wanted to have was a conversation on why he wasn't sleeping. He felt shitty already, having lost it on her earlier that day, he couldn't even remember why. Dr.Reynolds had told him that even though his "rages" as he called them decreased in frequency he should still expect them, coupled with the insomnia that just started since being released from the hospital a few days ago, he felt like he was going backwards.

The sun was beginning to rise, so he went and sat outside, surprised to find James sitting on the steps "hey, can't sleep?" Adam asked his father in law as he sat down beside him.

"I like watching the sun rise, always have" he told him taking in Adam's disheveled appearance, dark circles under his eyes. He thought back on the way Adam had yelled at Kim the previous day, he missed what started it but seemed to be about the new house and paint samples. "are you okay,son?" He asked knowing he should probably leave it alone but listening to him yell at his daughter and then seeing her tears wasn't easy.

Adam shrugged, he knew Kim's dad had heard them, well him yelling yesterday "listen, I'm sorry, about yesterday" he turned to look James in the eye "I don't know how to stop it, it just builds up and I snap"

James hated this, he knew it wasn't Adam's fault, but how many times could he listen to him yell at Kim, "are you still seeing Dr.Reynolds?"

"I am, have appointment this afternoon" he said "do you know anything about what I'm dealing with?"

"Some, I did a lot of research right after your accident" thinking back on how frightened he was that Adam wouldn't survive "it wasn't something I dealt with in my practice, but I wanted to know what we would be facing"

"Is it normal that now I can't seem to sleep for more than an hour at time, if that?" Adam asked, he slept ok in the hospital most nights but since coming home sleep had been elusive.

"I think so, have you told your doctor" he felt bad for the kid.

"Not yet, but I will today" Adam said standing up "listen, James, I'm sorry I'm doing my best when it comes to the 'rages', it kills me knowing I'm hurting Kim"

"I know son, this isn't your fault, but I'm glad you are still getting help for it" he hugged Adam as they both went back in the house.

Little Adam was sitting in the high chair eating breakfast "daddy" he called out when he saw Adam walk in.

"Hey boy" he said as he approached Kim who had her back to him, he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her against his chest "how are you?" He asked.

Kim leaned into his embrace resting her head on his chest "I'm fine, are you?I noticed you didn't sleep again" he wasn't fooling her, she knew he was getting up way before sunset she didn't want to push him so she just pretended to asleep.

Adam released his hold on her, "I'm fine" he sat down at the table, playing with Adam as he the little boy played with the food on his tray instead of eating it.

"Listen, I have to go in to work, my parents are busy, can you keep Adam?" She asked.

"Of course, I have an appointment with Dr.Reynolds at four, but yea," he picked Adam up from the high chair "we can call Poppy, huh buddy" Adam still not allowed to drive, "or Uncle Jay, see what's going on" Adam hated not being able to drive and was thankful to his dad and Jay willing to drive him around while Kim worked.

"Be a good boy for daddy, I love you" Kim said as she handed little Adam over to Adam "I love you too!" She said kissing her husband as she left.