Keep Me Safe

Chapter 95

After staying at the hospital the first night, Spencer woke up to doctors demanding tests of all sorts. They found that she was in perfect health after the labor, freeing her to go home. Freeing her to mourn within the walls that her family could've grown up in.

Once Toby had parked the truck and led her inside, she headed straight for the bedroom. Easing into the bed, she laid her head onto the pillow and drifted off immediately. Toby tucked the covers more completely around her, staying to watch her sleep.

This was the only time that he could recall her looking less than perfect. Her hair was stringy and there were dark circles under her sunken eyes. She had been crying, clearly evident by her red cheeks and nose.

But the most depressing thing was that she looked sad, even when she was asleep. Usually, unconsciousness brought a sort of peace to her flawless features, but today, her pain was readable in every way.

Toby stepped out of the bedroom to busy himself with anything else. He started by folding the laundry that had sat in the dryer since their beach trip the previous day. Then he did basic straightening in the kitchen and living room, then his workshop, then her office.

As he completed each of these tasks, he became more and more aware of the emptiness that was starting to consume him. And somehow his sadness led him right to the half finished nursery.

The light gray walls and wooden furniture somehow eased his pain, maybe a reminder that there would be hope. Knowing his wife, she would get over her period of brokenness, and be anxious to get up and try again. Toby took a seat in the rocking chair that Spencer had kept all these years, holding his face in his hands.

How was it possible that he had broken the one promise he had made to her? He had kept assuring her that he would keep her safe. And he had failed.

The sound of the door creaking open startled him from his thoughts. Spencer stood in the doorway, a broken smile playing on her lips. She padded over to Toby, her eyes asking permission to be in his embrace. He, of course, welcomed her into his lap, his arms wrapping loosely around her.

Somewhere in their tangled mess of limbs, they fell asleep.
-
He wasn't sure when they had moved to their bed, but he woke up the following morning in their bedroom. He was only conscious for a moment before realizing that Spencer was not beside him.

He thoroughly searched the house, desperate to find any sign of where she could be. She has left her phone, but her boots and jacket were missing from the hall closet. This gave him reason to believe that she had left.

She hadn't taken the car, so Toby hopped in his truck and began down the road, towards the lake. The morning fog was dense and the air chilled, but it was somehow relaxing to drive down the winding road. It helped to relieve the anxiety that he couldn't find his wife.

If he hadn't have seen a squirrel cross the road and slowed down, he might have missed her. She was sitting in the ditch, hugging her bare legs to her chest. By the way her body slightly trembled, Toby could infer that she was crying. Getting out of the truck, Toby began his descent towards her.

Spencer's eyes sought his out immediately, as she made an attempt to stand up. She had barely pushed herself up when she collapsed in another heap of emotions, sobs wracking her whole body.

Toby crouched beside her, waiting for her tears to subside. Eventually they did, replaced by tree haunting syllables.

"I'm sorry."

His heart broke upon her unneeded apology.

"God no, he whispered. "You have no reason to be sorry."

She opened her mouth to speak, but decided to surrender, giving her full weight to the man beside her. She allowed him to carry her to the front seat of the truck, and he drove back toward the house.

A mere two minutes later, when Toby had pulled into the garage and parked the vehicle, he noticed that Spencer had drifted off once again. So instead of disrupting her rest, he simply took the key out of ignition and wrapped him right arm around her thin frame.

"I love you," he muttered repeatedly into her hair until it seemed like it didn't even convey the vast amount of emotion he felt toward her at that moment.

Love just didn't seem powerful enough anymore.