Keep Me Safe

Chapter 98

Things had gotten better, but not normal. There was no more intimate contact after their kiss in the workshop, and they fought rather frequently. It was over stupid things, but Spencer usually ended up retreating to the bathroom to "take a deep breath". This usually meant taking an hour long shower to wash away the remaining pain.

Shortly after returning from her time with her mother, Spencer made the hardest calls of her life- telling her best friends that she was no longer carrying their niece. It was painful to see all of her friends so happy while they had no idea what she was going through.

Hanna and Mike were happily married and trying for a baby themselves. Aria was in her final few weeks of her pregnancy, with no new evidence of her husband's infidelity. After months of debating whether or not to marry Paige, Emily had made up her mind. Their wedding would be in November.

Spencer's friends were heartbroken to say the least, and it absolutely broke her. She hated being the center of attention, and she hated people pitying her, offering their useless sympathy. Hearing her friends cry over the loss of her dead child, reminded Spencer just how much they cared. Although Hanna was stubborn and lacked common sense, Aria was self centered at times, and Emily was chronically separated from the group, the four girls still shared a inexplicable bond.

After hanging up from the last call, Spencer decided to check off another task on her list. It has haunted her for weeks, but she knew that it would make things better in the long run.

Coming quietly down the staircase to Toby's workshop, she was immediately met with the comforting scent of sawdust evident in the air. He looked up to acknowledge her presence, a small smile spreading across his features. God, she missed that smile.

"Hi," Spencer greeted him awkwardly.

"Hey," Toby returned with the same level of discomfort.

She took a seat beside him at one of the metal stools, running her fingers along the planes of the wooden table. She took in his appearance- how was it possible that she lived with the man but hadn't noticed how visibly older he looked? Stress had certainly taken its toll on Spencer's once flawless image, but she hadn't expected the same of Toby.

Sensing her hesitation, Toby spoke up. "What's up, beautiful?" He spoke softly.

Spencer shrugged, as if she didn't know why she was there. But she did know.

"I just want you to know that no matter how long it takes, I will come back to you. This isn't what will break us. I love you, and o want you to hear me when I say that. I love you."

She inhaled sharply, choosing her next words carefully.

"I'm not ready to go back to what we had before, but you are still the most important thing in my life. Losing this baby was heartbreaking, but losing you would end my life. I want to have babies with you, and I want to kiss you like I used to, but I'm not in that place right now."

Toby looked puzzled. "I don't know what you're saying. Are you leaving again?"

Spencer chuckled softly. "No, I would never leave you. I'm going to get better, I promise. But just not yet. Just please don't give up on me."

"I will never give up on you," Toby whispered like it was the most obvious thing on earth. He landed a small, gentle kiss on the tip of Spencer's nose and pulled her closer into him.

-

I debated over how to end this chapter but for your sanity, everything is okay. Better than Ben and Vivian anyway (AHS reference anyone?)