aerie (bakugo katsuki x oc)

chapter 91: mercy

aerie

I lay on this bed with Tomura for god knows how long, staring at the tv, although not comprehending a single word from any character of this random anime. All I can think about is that my deepest darkest secret is, in fact, no longer a secret. And apparently, it never was. The memory of the events that night replays in my head, over and over again. But after all of this time suppressing that god awful memory, I somehow feel differently about it. After spending the last 9 years cursing myself for fucking up my own life, I suddenly... don't regret it. I'm reminded of how much they deserved to die, and it relieves me from the underlying guilt I've been carrying since the day it happened.

Tomura eventually falls asleep, and I'm left to stare at the television alone for the remainder of the night.

As I sit, I begin to think a little harder about my situation.

He thinks he can get me back. He thinks that if he brings me to the alleyway that we met, connects with me about my parents, and comforts me, that I'll forget that I'm being held captive, and fall back into his arms.

As easier as it would make it, I can't let him break me. I can't let him lure me back in to the same endless cycle of abuse just because the remnants of my feelings for him still remain.

   I glance over at him. He looks so harmless when he sleeps so soundly, but the sight angers me.

   How come I have to lie here, with the debilitating fear of what's to come keeping me awake, and he gets to sleep? He doesn't care about my suffering. It doesn't matter to him how awful I feel, or how much I don't want to be here with him.

   In his mind, he's won.

   All I know, is that I'm going to do everything I can to let him know that he hasn't. That this isn't over. If I'm going down, I'm going down with a fight, kicking and screaming all the way.

After staring at the tv for hours, I eventually drift off.

~

I'm awoken at the feeling of the touching of my hair. I lie for a moment, letting the calming feeling continue, until I remember who's touching it.

I sit up as fast I can, and move off the bed onto the floor. "Don't touch me," I snap, scrambling to my feet.

Tomura stays in the same position laying on his side, and props his head up on his hand. "Oh, come on, kitten. You don't have to be like that."

"No," I say. "I know what you're doing, and it's not gonna work."

"Kitten. You don't have to-"

"Don't call me that!" I shout, "I'm not your kitten! I'm not your girlfriend, and I'm not your fucking property!"

   "Aerie, I know you're upset with me right now-"

   "Upset with you?!" I say, beginning to get even more agitated. "I'm disgusted by you! I told you, I'm fucking done! I don't want to be with you anymore!"

   He sighs, like a mother sighing at her misbehaving child, and my cheeks flush with anger. He thinks this is a phase. He thinks this is me acting out, instead of my true, concrete feelings, that aren't going anywhere any time soon.