aerie (bakugo katsuki x oc)

chapter 104: blame

   bakugo

I turn around and shove Endeavor away from me. "Fuck you, old man!" I scream. "We could have saved her! We could have fucking saved her, but you let her die!"

   "It wasn't the right thing to do," mutters Aizawa.

   "Well look what happened now!" I cry. "She's dead, and the villains are gone! Was it fucking worth it?!"

   "Bakugo," says Aizawa, with a cold expression despite the obvious regret in his voice. "If you hadn't tried to attack Dabi yourself, maybe he wouldn't have pulled the trigger. Think about that, before you go along blaming everyone else."

   "No..." I say to myself. My chest which was once full of so much anger and resentment has hollowed out into a bottomless pit. The adrenaline courses through my veins into my stomach, which makes it feel so upside down that it feels like I'm falling from the highest drop of the rollercoaster me and Kai went on so long ago. The searing pain from the gunshot in my shoulder is nothing compared to the awful aching of my broken heart as it all comes crashing down to dawn on me.

   Kai's dead.

   And it's my fault.

I feel myself fall to my knees. I grab the shirt over my heart as if that could stop it from shattering, and look to the ceiling, letting out a cry of agony. The awful cry comes straight from the heart, and proves the feeling of devastation that has completely taken over me. I bury my face in my hands as the weight of everything becomes too much for me to bear. Everything hurts so bad that I'm struggling to breathe in between wracks of sobs as I cry my heart out. "God," I cry. "This can't be happening!"

   Kirishima rushes to my side to try and console me. "Bakugo," he says softly, as he cries alongside me. "You're hurt. We need to get you to a hospital."

   "No," I say, shaking my head. "Why should I get to live when she didn't? This is all my fault."

   "It's not your fault, man. You did everything you could. Don't listen to them."

   "I never got to tell her," I say, between gasping for air after every painful sob.

   Kirishima sniffles. "Tell her what?"

   "How beautiful she was," I say, in a half-whisper.

   "Stand up, son," says Endeavor. "It's time to go."

   I turn my head and spit on his shoe. "Fuck you!" I cry, "Fuck all of you!"

   "Come on, Bakugo," says Kirishima. "Let's get away from them."

   I can't keep my eyes off the puddle of blood as Kirishima leads me out the door. After everything that we went through, it's all that remains of her.

~

   When I finally open my eyes again, they're seared by the bright white lights of the hospital room.

   At first, I don't remember what happened, or why I'm here. That is, until I see Kirishima sitting there, with a solemn expression. I look at him for a moment, but as soon as he meets my gaze, I look away.

   "Hey, man," he says.

   I get the overwhelming urge to burst into tears, but I shut my eyes, take a deep breath, and swallow it.

   "How did I get here?" I mutter.

   "Well, you were kinda hysterical when we tried to get you into the ambulance, so they had to sedate you. But I stayed with you the whole time until you went into surgery."