Confessions of a Bunny

Tiana "Honey" Simpson

"You going to answer me girl! Yes mistress! So, you agree that you're all that? No Mistress I am not I said looking everywhere but at her. Mhmm that's what I thought she said moving on to the next girl. True enough, I wasn't like the other girls. I kept my head down and didn't say much, because to be honest I wanted to blend in and not cause any problems. There were a lot of things that she didn't know about me and that I didn't want anyone to know about me. My time here would be short lived though I wasn't planning to stay here forever. I had dreams and goals, and they didn't involve hoeing myself out to the next man and birthing babies for folks that couldn't just to get her money. That was her gig, taking in underserved and disadvantaged young girls that seemingly had nowhere to go and turning them into baby breeders. This wasn't anything new, old white women did it all the time in the south, difference is they typically stole the children from their parents. Mistress, didn't steal, she...she as you could say made us an offer we couldn't refuse. There were young girls here that had run away from home and stupidly thinking this was a come up, end up in a situation that they definitely didn't need to be in. I found it so ironic that she spent a lot of her time here, with us, making sure that we were in tip top shape to have these babies, and she was still raising children of her own. Most of the girls didn't know she had children because she tried to keep her personal life separate from the life that she led at the house. I found out by accident, I was in her office for my routine screening and her daughter called her. Of course, she quickly made me get out the office, but me being the person I am I snuck around to the backroom that had a shared vent with her office where I could hear the conversation. She was begging her to come and get her out of some place because they were giving her too much medication. I never let her know that I knew about her daughter, I just kept it filed away for later use.

After what we call inspection, we were sent back to our rooms and instructed to go straight to bed. For those that were pregnant living here was a heaven send, you had free medical care, somewhere to live, and 3 hot meals a day. For those that weren't it was basically a whore house, you were expected to maintain a certain weight, a certain look, and most importantly damn near perfect reproductive health. Which is crazy because most of the females here were barely of childbearing age to begin with. Mistress kept a tight rein on all of the girls and our where abouts as well. We didn't go to school because it's hard to explain why you're out so often for doctors' appointments or how you ended up pregnant twice in the school year. We also weren't allowed to be out in groups, if you see one girl you definitely don't see another with them. People were watching us and if they saw us together, they'd know something was going on. Well let me rephrase that that rule only applies to certain girls, there were a couple of that always went place with one another, we joked that they were the recruitment team. Honestly the more I think about it the more I realize that they weren't like us, they never had any of the same requirements as the rest of us, and the one girl that had a baby, took her baby out of the house. She told Mistress that it died, but I know it didn't, she gave it up for adoption herself. I saw the paperwork and the picture of the little boy she kept in this random book she had in her room. The funniest thing is, Mistress didn't even realize that ole girl was pregnant by her son. Yup she gave away Mistresses grandchild and she was none the wiser to it. That baby was blessed to not end up in her twisted ass family.

She was on your ass tonight huh, my roommate said as we made our way back to the room. As always, it's like she sees me as a threat or something. Maybe she does, every time you get a guy, they come here trying to take you away. Why would I leave one hell hole to go to another. True that. When I leave this place trust me, I won't be back. You have big dreams huh! No just a will to live my life outside of the watchful eye of someone else. I feel that she said struggling to get into her bed. You need help getting into bed. I am trying girl, but these babies are kicking my ass. I can't believe you got pregnant with twins. Me either. Honestly, I am afraid. It's not like with one baby where you push it out, you rest for a few weeks and go back out. They're saying I may need major surgery and I can't get pregnant again for at least 8 months. 8 months! Yeah, and you know how Mistress is, if you ain't working you ain't got a place here. Is that a bad thing, I mean I know you ain't dream of having babies for a living. What the hell else am I supposed to do? I don't know be a teenager, you're 16 and on your 3rd pregnancy. What happens when you want to actually keep the babies you are having? I can't think that far out she said shaking her head. I felt sorry for her, she'd been here since she was 13, she fell in with the wrong crowd and Mistress being the "good Christian" as she calls herself took her in. She had her first pregnancy 6 months later and since then Mistress has had her in constant rotation. It was rare to see a girl get pregnant with multiples, but when they do it's not a good thing for them physically or mentally.