Confessions of a Bunny

Roxanne " Rocci" Monroe

"Don't move so fast, good things come to those that wait"

"Ricky! Ricky! You can't take me off the main stage I make you the most money! You like to think that you cost me more money, the girls are afraid of you and the customers aren't entertained any more. Entertained! We aren't here to entertain, the motherfuckas are here to see ass and titties that's it. Contrary to what you think Roxanne this a classy establishment and not all of them are tuned on by that, so you can take waitress job or... You're going to fire me! I don't want to but there won't be another job for you. Just think about it Roxanne."

I can't believe he was kicking me off the stage. He knows that I make money to support my family. So, what the other dancer were afraid of me, it's a dog-eat-dog world and we all chasing the money in some way. I went to the dressing room to get my stuff and get out before anyone could come back and bother me. "Get it together Roxanne it ain't like he fired you completely" I mumbled to myself as I packed up for the night. I'd been at this club the club for the last 2 years trying to make enough money to get my family into the states legally. I'd come over from the islands when I was 15 with a friend of the family. They'd promise they follow in a few months once they got enough money. A few months turned into a year and the next thing I know its 6 and they are no closer to coming over than when I first left. It wasn't their fault; I mean they weren't educated and the jobs there weren't exactly paying a shit ton of money and they still had kids at home to take care of so there went the little money they had. Life for me over here without them wasn't exactly easy either. That family friend was cool until I turned 18 and then it was time for me to go. Here I am with barely a high school education and no family trying to survive on my own. Luckily for me I found one silver lining and that's my cousins Marla and Elise, they came over shortly after me and were able to get established and find good jobs. When I got kicked out, I reconnected with them and they helped me get a job, a decent apartment, a car no questions asked, and they didn't expect me to return the favor the only thing they asked is that I put whatever money I made into helping my family get over to the states. I agreed with that because they didn't need to be over there any longer.

How I ended up in this shit hole was a whole other story. I was working for this family as an afternoon nanny watching their kids after school and on the weekends. I'd take them to their afterschool activities and clean up around the house for the people until they got home. The women trusted us enough to watch their kids but wouldn't dare leave us alone with their husbands. They'd swear up and down we wanted them! That couldn't be farther from truth, I mean what does an 18- or 19-year girl want with a 40- or 50-year-old man? Well, I could see what they'd want, but that wasn't what I wanted, I was purely there for money to take care of myself. After working for the family for a few years I met couple of other nannies that were in the same situation as me, we started talking and they told me how a couple of them danced to get additional money. I was young and naïve so when they said they danced I had no idea what they meant by that. I went one night to see exactly what they meant by it. I was appalled by what they did, seeing them showing their bodies and gyrating on stage in front of these men that they didn't even know. It wasn't until I saw how much money they were making that I had a change of heart. It was crazy the amount of money that was getting thrown at them and they didn't have to do anything but dance. The men didn't touch them or anything they just danced, and the men gave the money. I thought to myself surely it can't be that easy to just make money like that. I came to the club a few more times before fully committing. I kept my nanny job during the day and danced at night for a while until the day my employer came into the club. Well we know how that ended and ever since then I've been at the club working almost 5 nights a week to pay bills and save money to get my family over to the states.

"And where you going so early?" I heard the voice say from behind me. This is the exact reason why I was trying to leave before anyone saw me so I wouldn't have to deal with this bitch. "Aye don't you hear me talking to you" she said pushing my shoulder. Count backwards Roxanne and don't swing on her I thought in my head before I turned around to face her, Gigi leave me alone! You respond when I speak to you. You ain't my mama and I don't owe you a damn thing so just leave the hell alone. You bold bitch you know I can make things happen in this hear club, she said smirking at me. I rolled my eyes at her; you think I am scare of you Gigi? You should be! Naw you should be more afraid of me, I said showing her my switch blade. What are you going to do with that? I guess you'll have to find out!