Confessions of a Bunny

~**Sparkle**~

I thought you weren't going back there. I wasn't but Sapphire asked me to come back for her birthday. Apparently, they are throwing her a big bash for her 21st birthday. Wow 21 is a big deal. It is, but she shouldn't be there and especially not as long as she has been. she's so smart Kat, she knows stuff that I don't even know. Not that I am supposed to know everything, but she knows history, philosophy, math, everything. The funny thing is she ain't the only one they got that's smart like that either. There are girls in college, studying to be doctors and lawyers, wasting their talent and time in that den of iniquity. They could probably say about you as well. You walking around here with a bachelor's degree in English, using words like iniquity and shit but you doing the same exact thing she's doing. Dancing for what a little bit of money. You know why I dance and that degree wasn't...it wasn't going to what, get you the job and lifestyle you deserve. Instead of taking off your clothes for random dudes you could be educating Americas youth. Writing government policy, hell you could have written you own damn life story instead of living a life that you and I both know is below you.

Kat made a lot of sense I didn't have to strip because I was destitute, I stripped because I wanted to rebel against the strict catholic bringing I had. Being a woman wasn't a powerful thing in my home growing up. It was always "Melanie fix yourself you might meet a nice young man or Melanie, young men your age don't women that listen to that filth they want a good Christian girl." A good Christian this came from the mouth of a woman and a man who started having children in their teens and barely finished school themselves. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents and despite my disdain for the strictness of my childhood it did teach me a lot about life and how I wanted to live it for myself and not anyone else.

It's just different, I know what I am capable of doing. Then why don't you do it or is that you are just comfortable with the least amount of responsibility. Least amount of responsibility, I am raising a child that ain't even my own, because my parents couldn't handle her. So don't tell me I don't have responsibilities because I have so many that I can't even count. Look Mel, I am not trying to disrespect you or anything like that, but you can't keep saving people. This girl is of age now and if she doesn't see a problem being there it's not up to you to make her see it. You have other responsibilities here. You're right about that, Noemi needs me here and I want my son back home with me. You really thinks he's gonna let him come back. We had an agreement once I settled down and got a nice house in the burbs I could get him back. You got a house you ain't told me about? No but I got the down payment money for it. One question, how are you going to pay for it, if you quitting this job? I got other streams of revenue and I want to get Joshua and Noemi out of the inner city and into a place where they both can feel safe. Hmph well you know I support you and if you need anything I always got your back. Of course you do, you're just being an overprotective big cousin. Girl we are all of, 8 months apart she rolling her eyes at me. You're still older I said zipping up my suitcase. As much as I didn't to admit it, she was right. I do have a son and unfortunately right now I don't have custody of him, his father has it. But that doesn't mean I don't love him and see him every chance I get. I love him very much. I just couldn't make it work with his father. We made a deal that once I got myself together, and could provide him with a safe and stable environment he'd come back to me. I've made more than enough money to get him back. I just couldn't put the burden on Noemi to watch him at night while I work. I wasn't going to perpetuate the cycle that I went through with her. He's not Elgin's son, although he would have loved to be the father of my child.

I finished packing up my bags and Sapphire's gift before Kat drove me to the airport. I was serious about this being my last and final visit to the ranch. I didn't need the money as badly as I lead on and as I told Kat I had other streams of revenue to get it. So there really was no need for me to keep making these random trips to Las Vegas to dance for that little bit of change they were giving me. I could make way more here in New York running my multiple businesses and using my own connections to make a real name for myself. The flight was long, but it gave me some time to chill and mentally prepare myself for this weeklong trip and telling Sapphire that I wasn't coming back after this. Normally I wouldn't even care to say goodbye when I left a job. But I feel like I owe it to her because we've become close, and she trust me.