Confessions of a Bunny

Shelley "Amethyst" Hernandez

Are you happy now, Mom, you succeeded in taking my child from me? Shelly, you need to grow up! You are the only thing she has in the world. Whatever I said, waving her off as I left the courtroom. I wanted to see my little girl because I knew my mother once we left this court room, she'd make it hard to even see her. Mommy! Hi Princess, I said picking her up. Mommy we go home now? No baby you're going home with grandma for a little bit. Grandma she said looking past me. Listen to me Siyahira, I want you to know that mommy loves you so much. I love you to mommy she said looking at me with her big brown eyes. It was crazy how much she looked like her father, I just wished he was still here to see her grow up. Grandma is gonna take care of you while I get us a place together, and I'll come every weekend to get you and take you to get ice cream. Ice Cream she said smiling at me. Yes, baby girl. You have to promise me you'll be a good girl and no getting into trouble. I promise mommy. I let out a deep breath before giving her a hug and kissing her cheek. We walked back over to where my mom was with my little sister, I'll come get her on Saturdays, I said looking at my mom. I am not taking her from you Shelly you just need to get it together. What is Armando doing anyway that he can't get yall a decent apartment? I'll come get her on Saturday and I'll start sending some money for her needs as well. I ignored her question because although Armando is in Siyahira's life he's not her father and he never will be, so I am not giving him the responsibility of taking care of her. It was my responsibility, I decided to have her so now it'd be my responsibility to take care of her.

Once we were finished in court, I went back to Armando's sister's house where he was waiting for me. Hey babe! Hey, I said plopping down on the bed. Where is Siyahira? My mom has her! They gave her custody. I don't want to talk about it, I said wiping a tear off my face. Babe, I know...no you don't know Mando, you said this was temporary, we've been here for over a year, in this small room living off your sister. Shelly, I got some things coming up and then we'll be out of here, I told you. I know what you told me, but it doesn't change the situation or the fact that now I have to pay my mom child support. She's the one that went to court, you shouldn't have to pay her anything. That's sound so stupid Mando, yes, I do she's taking care of Siyahira. You were taking care of her here she ain't have to open her mouth to the courts. Mando I really don't feel like arguing right now, I need to get some rest before work tonight. I know you don't believe me Shelly, but I am trying, and we are going to some money and then I can get you and Siyahira, that house with the little white picket fence he said kissing my cheek.

I wanted so badly to believe him, but I knew it was just another empty promise. He promised that we'd only live with his sister for 3 months tops while he got his boxing career started. He promised that I wouldn't have to work at this clothing plant forever, that as soon as he got the money, I could launch my own line of clothing. So many promises and I still keep believing it. I took up the night shift at the warehouse, in an effort to be home with Siyahira during the day, but now that my mom has her, there is no need for me to work over night and I could spend that time making sure that Mando was actually doing what he said he was doing and that's working to get us out of this house. After he left the room, I was able to get a few hours of rest, but I couldn't sleep so laid there staring at the ceiling and thinking back to when Andres was still alive. Andres was my first true love, and I wished every day that he wouldn't have gone on that trip with his brother. 4 people in the car and he was the only one that didn't come back and of course no one knows what happened or how he died. And I get left holding all the responsibility.

Hi Vivian! Hey Shelly, what can I help you with? Um I wanted to see about going to the day shift. The day shift, why I thought you liked working at night. My circumstances changed and now I need to be available at night. I can look at the productivity, but you are my best night person, and the reason why we stay ahead most of the time. What about the midday shift, something like 11 to 8? No one works those hours, but I guess I could make an exception, it'd bring up the day productivity rate and still keep the night rate high as well. Anything will help, thank Vivian. No problem, Shelly. I don't know why I got a weird feeling, but something about her willingness to just create a new position didn't sit right with me. I just didn't know how it'd play out.