Confessions of a Bunny

~**Stormy**~

I'd been here for a few months and was still getting accustomed to the fact that I actually left home on my own. I felt terrible for leaving the way I did and not telling my father. But I couldn't stay in that house any longer with that woman. As much as I didn't want to do it, Emerald convinced me to at least write him a letter to explain why I left the way I did. I wasn't going to send it, but I figured I owed it to him and myself for him to actually hear it from. Thank God for email, I didn't have to worry about him finding me, but I could confirm that he got the message. Which he did and he begged me to come home or to at least tell him where I was so that he could come to me. I couldn't so I told him that I met someone that was going to help me become a dancer and that I'd contact him once I got settled into my new space in life. I mean once I figured out what I really want to do with my life that is. I know dance has been my passion, but can I make it my long-term career that's something I couldn't bet on.

For now, he'll get emails every now and then just let him know I am ok and that I am safe. I may not have been able to communicate with my father like I wanted to but that didn't mean I couldn't communicate with my siblings. I'd email them more frequently to make sure they were good and staying on top of their schoolwork. They'd tell me how since I'd left my stepmother was happier than she'd ever been. It was like my presence at the house was a constant reminder of what she could never be but what she tried to be, and that was my mother. She wanted so badly to be my mother and she could never her, on her best day be my mother and she knew it too. Which is why she was always so short with me because I was the representation of her. I get it, it's hard to come into a situation where the husband is still obviously grieving and has these children, he has to raise without help. Of course, you want to seem like the helpful woman, but where she went wrong is trying to completely erase the existence of his previous wife and life. It was so much more than not letting us keep her pictures up. It was her whole existence, she tried for a year to convince my father to sell the house and move into a new house. He wouldn't, so a compromise was to get rid of anything that my mother ever touched or looked at. All the furniture had to go, he had to repaint the whole house, update the bathrooms, and the kitchen as well. It's as if she thought she'd catch my mother's cancer from being in her house around her things and her kids. On the flipside though my leaving was apparently setting my father back in his sobriety. When my mother died, he picked up drinking pretty heavily, it wasn't bad enough for us to be taken from him, but it was bad enough for him to almost take himself out a few times and that's when he realized that he couldn't do it anymore and took himself to AAA on his own. He worked his butt off to get sober and I commended him for that, and I pray that he stays sober even if I am not around to push him to do it.

Stormy! Yes, Emerald I said sitting up from my bed. Why are you still in bed? Damn didn't realize I needed to get out of bed at a certain time. Watch the attitude and I was asking because its 4 in the afternoon. I was journaling, I wasn't sleeping. Oh, ok she said plopping down on her bed. Emerald! Why are you yelling at me? Because you still in bed! Real funny she said throwing a pillow at me. Aye don't be throwing stuff at me. What you gonna do about it she said crossing her arms. Whatever Emerald I am not messing with you today. Yeah, that's what I thought cause you know I don't play that. You'd never hit me! Not intentionally she said looking at me. I would never give you a reason to hit me, now if I was out of pocket that's different. Exactly! Now that I think about it, why are you in here, aren't you normally at the front desk. Onyx decided to come to work today, I guess. I was up there and then she came to the desk talking about "You ain't gotta be up here, I am working today". Oh god please tell me you didn't go off on her, did you? No, I wanted to, but I am working on being a better person and not beating bitches down. That's a good thing I said smirking at her.

When Diamond first introduced us, I thought it was weird. I mean she'd just literally pulled me out of the rain and now I was in a room with this person, that I'd never laid eyes on in my life. But once we moved past the initial getting to know each other steps I started to realize why she put us together. We kind of cut from the same cloth and we had more in common than I did with anyone else in the ranch. She told me that she lost her father early on and had been through a lot as a child and during her adolescent years as well. I admired the fact that even though she was alone she knew how to take care of herself and the fact that she even continued to try to get her education despite the fact that she dropped out of school. She also made me realize that I was taking for granted the fact that I had two parents that loved her regardless of it my mother had died.