Fluffy WangXian Oneshots

A Million Different Ways

Lan Zhan was woken from a shallow sleep by a soft knocking on the door of the Jingshi. For a moment, he was confused; his dreams were of a time gone by, filled with an unruly boy who wore a red ribbon in his hair, and whose eyes shone like diamonds.

He hates waking up.

Every time his eyes open, he has to remember that Wei Ying is dead.

The knocking becomes a little louder, and that's when Lan Zhan realises that he is alone in bed.

Where is A-Yuan?

Panic makes him stand up too fast, and he has to wait a moment or two, before the pain washes over him. Through him. It leaves him gasping, and he clutches the bed frame in a desperate attempt to remain upright.

His body is not the same as before; the scars on his back still weep from time to time, and the healers mentioned that they would always hurt. It wasn't called the Discipline Whip for nothing.

The lesson taught is not one meant to be forgotten.

Lan Zhan has proof of their words. His back feels tight, an uncomfortable stretching of skin because it has had to grow back in unfamiliar ways.

But in the strangest way, these physical scars give him a strength he didn't know he had. They are proof that what he felt in his heart was true. That it was worth fighting for.

And yet, they are nothing compared to the scars in his heart.

One foot in front of the other, this is how he reaches the door.

When he opens it, there are two guards who must be on duty tonight, and there is A-Yuan.

He looks terrified.

The relief … It is something Lan Zhan feels he could touch with his fingers.

But he cannot show any tenderness here, not while they are watching.

"This is the third time this week, Hanguang-Jun." One of the guards says.

"Lan SiZhui, come inside." Lan Zhan holds his hand out for the boy. To them, he says, "I will deal with it."

A-Yuan comes inside as he is told to, and Lan Zhan sees that the boy's feet are bare. It is a sad day for the Lan Clan, if their members do not think of picking up a child, because they might hurt their soft feet walking on the hard, rough ground.

He closes the door in their faces because he can, because this is the Jingshi and because, what goes on inside is none of their business.

Lan Zhan picks up his son and places him gently on their bed. Then he takes a bowl of warm water and a clean cloth, and brings them to place on the floor. With great difficulty, Lan Zhan manages to sit on the ground too, but he is sure he will have to get on his knees first, in order to stand up.

Silent tears are falling on the boy's cheeks and every one breaks Lan Zhan’s heart into pieces. The only surprise he has is that it is still a functioning organ.

A-Yuan watches him, as Lan Zhan takes each foot one by one, and cleans it gently. First, the soft pads under each toe, and then the arch of his sole, followed by his tender heels. There is infinite care because this boy is his last link with Wei Ying. This is their child.

A-Yuan is a smart boy.

He knows that when his new father calls him by his new name, he must not question what he is being told. But, when his birth name is used, and it is only in this place that he will use it, the Jingshi, where it is safe, then he can ask his questions, and his new father will try to answer him.