So Far

17

He held me tightly as we danced the familiar steps we practiced just few weeks ago. I was amazed that he still knows it even after just one practice. But I already knew he will do well.

The song reverberated into my heart that it made my heart pound harder. But I know it's not entirely because of the loud music, but because he is holding me right now. In front of everyone I know.

I'm aware that I'm very nervous right now, but that's not the reason why I am feeling this way. His gaze and hold on me makes my heart beat so fast and loud. I don't know if he's aware of that or if he feels the same way, but all I know is that I've never felt so happy.

The song then came to an end. He held me tight as we do our last step together. His eyes never left mine even after the song. We ended the performance, still looking at each other, bodies close to each other and still smiling. The crowd was silent for a while, before one by one, they all started clapping and some even gave us a standing ovation.

Doon lang kami nag-iwas ng tingin sa isa't isa. Sabay kaming nag-angat ng tingin sa paligid kasabay ng pag-tayo namin ng maayos. Everyone cheered and clapped their hands. Rinig ko pa ang sigaw nila Ate Kath at Sally mula sa gilid, pero dahil sa liwanag ng spotlight ay hindi ko sila makita.

Saglit na nawala doon ang atensyon ko nang hawakan niya ng marahan ang kamay ko. Nalipat sa kanya ang atensyon ko at nakitang pinapanood niya akong namamangha sa palakpakan.

"I'll just step aside for now. I think it's time for your 18th roses." he whispered to me.

He smiled at me and nodded to someone behind me. The light dimmed and a slow song started playing.

Si Papa ang unang sayaw ko kaya naman siya ang unang tumayo. Dahan dahan siyang lumapit dala ang isang pirasong bulaklak. Sinalubong ko siya ng may malaking ngiti.

Nakangiti siya at mukhang magaan ang pakiramdam. It was nice seeing him like this.

Inalok niya ang bulaklak sa'kin at masaya ko itong tinanggap. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niya at nagsimula kaming sumayaw. Natatawa pa ako noong una dahil pareho kaming hindi makasabay sa galaw ng isa't isa. Naapakan ko pa tuloy ang paa niya.

"Sorry, Pa." natatawa kong sabi.

Natawa rin siya pero nag-patuloy lang kami sa pagsayaw.

"Masayang masaya ka, ah?" puna niya.

Natigilan ako dahil hindi ko inaasahan yun. Alam na alam ko ang isasagot ko. Oo, masayang masaya ako. Sobra. Pero hindi ko alam kung masasabi ko ba yun sa kanya.

Alam kong alam ng buong pamilya ko ang nararamdaman ko para kay Adam. At hindi ko rin naman pinagkakaila yun. Alam kong wala naman akong ginagawang masama sa pagkakagusto kay Adam ng ganito. My parents know him and we grew up together. So they are aware of how great he is.

Well, I think there is no shame in admitting that my happiness really depends on him. Pero hindi naman noon ibig sabihin na hindi ako masaya kung wala siya. Kahit pa alam kong hindi yun magkapareho.

Nahihiya akong ngumiti sa kanya. "Si Papa talaga."

"Dalagang dalaga na nga ang bunso ko." medyo malungkot niyang sabi.

Napatitig ako sa kanya. It's the first time I'm hearing this from him. It warmed my heart but I felt kind of sad.

Nangilid ang luha sa gilid ng mata mga mata ko. Now that he voiced it out, I can really feel it. Age is not really a big deal for me right now, but when I think about it, the more we age, my parents also grows older.

It won't be long when it would be visible in their looks. Mabuti at ngayon, hindi pa halata ang edad niya sa itsura niya. My father is still fit and healthy, so I don't really feel worried.