𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅 ~ 𝗢𝗻𝗲-𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🤍

• 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗽𝗲𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 🩷

Disclaimer: Slight violence/assault.

I did publish this earlier but apparently it didn't go out to anyone 😂 so, I'm republishing it now.

•❤️•

Y/N's POV, Late 1987

This year has been a tough one, and I'm not just saying that, I mean it. Slowly but surely over the last year, things have gotten near impossible when it comes to me and my boyfriend Nikki. His drug addiction was out of hand, and I've watched it get worse and worse.

It's spiralled, Nikki's never admitted that, not aloud, it went from being a casual thing to being a once every couple of day thing, to a daily thing to now a multiple times a day, fully fledged addiction kinda thing.

Seeing him fuck himself up on drugs was never fun, but I couldn't stop him. Stopping him would make him lose his shit, he got into such states and was so into these drugs that being without them made him a moody, nasty bitch and he didn't even mean it to happen.

I loved him, truly I did but his addiction was getting in the way of so many things, even the band. Nothing was going good and the tour they'd been doing was a disaster, so many things behind her scenes are going wrong and the band was fractured. Some days they could all get on, then others they were at each other's throats and it got tiring.

Everyone was pissed off at Nikki because he was so out of it all the time, and now we were back home on a break and nothing was any better, Nikki was high all the time, I could hardly get a coherent sentence from him, by now I was more his babysitter than his girlfriend.

I didn't want this to be my life, I didn't want my life to be making sure whether Nikki was dead or alive constantly and I was now living everyday waiting for the day where I'd go check on Nikki and he'd be dead.

I dreaded that day more than anything.

Nik had been upstairs for most of the day, we'd gotten back here a two days ago, and although the break was pleasant in the way we got a break from the constant travelling, it meant Nikki had even more time to get himself screwed up on heroin.

I'd never seen drug addiction up close before, but now I've seen it and it just made my hatred for substances all the stronger. It wasn't just Nikki, all of the band had addictions that would kill then someday, I worried for all of them but Nikki's life was the one which was most in immediate danger, any day he could drop dead and the scary part was, it didn't seem like he cares.

The only thing keeping him somewhat mindful of the drugs he was taking and the paranoid, hallucinogenic states he got himself in was me, though that didn't stop him from taking the drugs to get him into those states in the first place.

Nikki could be pretty unrecognisable when in these high, paranoid states, he got aggressive and sometimes even got so into these hallucinations he'd try to kill himself, just to get rid of the things he was seeing. Those moments were scary.

He'd never raised a hand to me and never hurt me, and he'd never not seen me as me in these situations but it still put me on edge because I couldn't ever bet that one day he wouldn't just snap, so I always approached him carefully or stayed out of his way entirely.

And I wanted to stay out of his way right now but was unable to deal with it any longer, I could hear Nikki yelling at thin air, yelling about all kinds of things, sometimes he would talk to who I could only assume to be a hallucination of his mother, then other people who'd hurt him, or even people he knew sometimes, raving nonsensically about whatever ideas his high mind had thought up.