𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅 ~ 𝗢𝗻𝗲-𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🤍

• 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗺𝗲 ^ 🩷

A/N: This imagine is based off the song 'Shame', by Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow (from the British group Take That), feel free to listen to it while reading, I hope you guys enjoy it! 😇

•❤️•

Y/N's POV, Late 1992

Your point of view is always biased, you usually don't want to admit when you're wrong, and that's what happened with me and Nikki. There's three versions of what happened between us, my side, his side then the truth that neither of us have faced.

Looking back we can put down the shit that's happened to circumstance, and our pasts, having both had a similar experience growing up, neglectful and abusive parents, his mom abused him, my mom abused me, our lives were pretty similar expect for the fact I had a good relationship with my father, unlike Nikki who didn't really know him.

But my dad left my mom and when he did, he took up a job here in LA that took up a lot of his time, so I couldn't go live with him as he'd never have been around anyways... but as soon as I was old enough I came here and lived with him.

Me and Nikki both had scars from that time as kids and still struggled with opening up, we'd both done therapy, when Nikki started after he went to rehab I joined him and it helped it really did... until the last ten months or so, it just didn't.

We stopped being good at communicating again, and even now Nikki's clean, and it was easier for both of us to talk, we didn't. And that's what happened to our relationship, we stopped communicating. Things have been tough lately, with all the shit around the band with Vince and the lack of enthusiasm the fans had for his replacement, Nikki was stressed but just bottled it, and that lead to arguments and fall outs and just a general breakdown of everything.

We're not broken up, we're just on an extended break.

It wasn't a mutual decision, it was Nikki's choice because in the time we stopped communicating, he got himself a side chick who he used to vent frustration, at least that's what he told me, and said to me that until I could be who he needed me to be that we shouldn't see each other anymore, that hurt. He blamed me for his problems, his stress.

Sure, I maybe could have done more but I didn't know whether I should have gotten involved at the time, whether he wanted me too. Yeah, I could have asked, but I said we both sucked at communicating and I wasn't lying.

So, to get back at Nikki when he called this break I went and very publicly hooked up with Slash, although he and Nikki hadn't spoke much since his overdose, they were still on good terms and I knew it would fuck Nikki off because Slash had always had a thing for me.

Slash knew from the get go that I just wanted to get back at Nikki and was all for it, so I wasn't using him, I contacted him and he agreed but since the few fake dates we went on and the few make out sessions we did in-front of paparazzi cameras, I found it didn't make me feel any better.

Sure, it did what I wanted it too, because Nikki tried to one up me after Slash and I made the media rounds by fucking some famous model, and I knew he only did that because me and Slash got under his skin.

All in all my publicity stunt with the guitarist lasted a month or so, before I said I couldn't do it anymore, being with him was fun and he'd been a good lay, he was a good man, but he wasn't Nikki and being with him was doing more damage to me than I thought it would. Hurting Nikki was meant to make me feel better, instead it made me feel worse, so that pain got returned to sender.