𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅 ~ 𝗢𝗻𝗲-𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🤍

• 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 ^ 🩷

This one-shot is very loosely based off the song 'More Than This' by One Direction. Feel free to listen to the song while you read 😊

•❤️•

Nikki's POV, 1995

You know when life just gets on top of you, and it's almost suffocating and it's beats you down to the floor? Yeah, that's me right now, and has been for months and it was being in that place which caused me to make some less than wise decisions.

Namely, me going to my wife Y/N one day and telling her I needed a break from everything, in which we agreed to take a break from our relationship, she then found a place to rent a week later moved in and took our two kids with her. At the time, I really thought it'd help, I thought being alone might help me get my head together but it didn't, it made it worse.

Y/N had always had the uncanny ability to make things make sense to me, if I was lost, she'd make me see the right path but when I told her to go I was that lost in everything going on that I kinda forgot that I needed her and instead of asking her to leave for a while I could have just like y'know... spoken to her? Retrospect made me feel like an asshole and I probably was. Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I'm definitely an asshole.

I've never denied to myself that I was broken, I've always been broken, ever since I was a child. Abuse and neglect do that to you, y'know? I've managed to learn how to hold myself together over the years especially once I got clean but that doesn't mean I'm repaired.

Y/N's always been able to hear me when I've silently called for help, and I know when I told her to leave she didn't want to leave but I was insistent about it, almost forcing her out so she went without too much pushback.

Without her I'm almost blinded because when she isn't here, Y/N is the only thing I see. I miss the shit out of her but ringing her and asking her to come back seems like such a hard task right now.

I'd hurt her by telling her I wanted to be alone, and due to that wasn't sure if she wanted to hear from me. Maybe it was stupid, it most likely was very stupid however I'm not ready to hear whether or not she'd still want me since I threw her away instead of talking to her like a normal person.

I was in the studio right now having a meeting with Tommy, yes just Tommy, Mick was busy so it was just me and the drummer, at least Tom was meant to have been anyway but he was late, which wasn't any surprise, so I was just sat waiting for him, losing my mind thinking over everything.

Things with the band weren't great, the last album we put out failed miserably after I genuinely thought it'd do well, after we invented the band and went with what was mainstream but instead of making the band in a new era of rock music it did the opposite and nearly destroyed it.

On the whole, fans were loyal to Vince, they hated what we did to him and the album we made with John Corabi, and I've spent months trying to figure out how the fuck we can get things back on track. It was stressing me the fuck out.

It was that stress on top of being a parent and all the other responsibilities I had in my life that just got too much for me all in one go.

It was a heavy burden knowing you'd fucked up your own band, pretty much all your fans hated what you'd done and pretty much hate you too, and having to now find a way to get fans back on side and figure out which direction we could possibly go in from here.