𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅 ~ 𝗢𝗻𝗲-𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🤍

• 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗔𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻 🩷

•❤️•

Nikki's POV, 1988

Life now was a hell of a lot better than it was a year ago, everything made sense now, I had a direction now, I wasn't running myself into the ground and not giving a shit whether I lived or died because doing drugs felt good. Drugs were a bitch, never take them.

I had a shitty start to life and those demons from my childhood never left me, not for a second. As years went on, I tried to shove those demons into the far corners of my mind but they started breaking out and with success of the Mötley Crüe, came money, a lot of money which meant access to better escapes in the form of drugs.

Alcohol ended up going into heroin, which was a life ruiner, trust me. That's what happened to me. Nothing good happened when my life was overtaken by addiction, nothing at all. But... maybe one good thing did happen though it wasn't directly because of the drugs, it happened just as things were getting bad because that was as when I met the love of my life.

I met Y/N in late 1983 when I was falling into heroin use, at that time it was casual and not anything near what it spiralled into but it was the start of my serious drug problems.

When we met, we were both on a one way road to addiction, Y/N was a good friend of Robbin Crosby's when we met, they hung out together all the time and when I hung out with Rob nine times out of ten she was there too.

Robbin wasn't a good influence on her, like he wasn't a good influence on me I guess. Sure he wasn't the cause of my drug problem or Y/N's but he did influence us in how much we consumed.

Eventually by the middle of 1984 Y/N and I started hanging out together without Robbin and she became less and less associated with him and only really saw him when I did, it was nothing personal it was just that we were getting closer and Robbin was either too busy to hang out or Y/N would choose to rather be with me than him because we were all but seeing each other by that point.

I'd clicked with Y/N fast, within months she was the person I trusted more than anyone else, she was the one person I saw a life a with, which scared the shit out of me at time, I'd never pictured a life with someone before so to see myself living the rest of my life with her was both exhilarating and terrifying.

Just because I saw a future though, it didn't mean I was going to get it and at that time, my future had been uncertain and remained that way for a while.

It was hard being together for a number of reasons, we were both on the same drugs so hardly really saw each other, Y/N did also balance that with a job too until 1986 when I told her to quit and work for the band instead so we could try and spend more time together and it worked but it wasn't by any means perfect.

I'm surprised we stayed together, truly. I'd never really had a relationship before, not one like we had anyways, it was something I'd never had before and every part of me loved it, though being romantic and being eyes deep in a concoction of drugs wasn't the best combination as although I often intended for us to do things together, that rarely ended up happening due to the drugs.

We'd never gotten close to breaking up though our relationship had gotten strained at certain times. We were both on heroin so it's not like we could blame each other for being on drugs, but my problem was more severe of one than Y/N's, I had a-lot more going on mentally than she did, a lot more trauma and insecurities, I'm not saying she didn't have those things but she got into drugs by accident, from giving into peer pressure one time, then it snowballed from there.