𝗡𝗶𝗸𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗶𝘅𝘅 ~ 𝗢𝗻𝗲-𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁 𝗖𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 🤍

• 𝗢𝗯𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗙𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗿𝘂𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲 🩷

•❤️•

Y/N's POV, 1989

Once, a few years ago I was the girlfriend of Nikki Sixx, we tried to be together but the circumstances at the time just were against us and we couldn't seem to work, we tried and sometimes it felt like we did but other times it was obvious we weren't ready for one another.

We met and we were good friends pretty quickly and when feelings crept in we tried to ignore it, we really did but it got near impossible so we just said 'fuck it' and tried to be together but called it quits a year later in early 1987 giving up hope on the fact we could work.

It was a lot with the band, Nikki's drug problems and the temptation of other girls it was just not the relationship I wanted and Nikki knew it wasn't a good relationship even if it was what we wanted.

Everything was quite complicated but we tried our hardest not to focus on the complicated parts just on our friendship, and it worked for a while, it ended up becoming near impossible, especially when Nikki got clean and started attending therapy sessions and cleaned up his life a little it was clear we still had feelings for each other and the complications that arose from that were unavoidable whenever we saw each other.

Nikki did bring it up, us starting again I mean, but were both still hesitant to try again to some degree incase this time it fucked up our friendship irreversibly so never did, and tried to move on and be with others.

By this point, we had both seen other people, I'd seen two guys breaking up with the latter of those two only a month or so ago feeling we weren't going to go anywhere and Nikki had met Brandi Brandt, a playboy model and had started dating her, he met her the week after we had the discussion about us.

I didn't particularly like her but I didn't hate her either, it was probably just my jealousy which causes me to dislike her though she does give me bad vibes for some reason.

I was happy for Nikki and when he proposed to Brandi I was a little surprised but supported his choice after all, she was beautiful there was no denying it.

Despite getting engaged to Brandi, Nikki did still have feelings for me, we still caught longing gazes every now and again and it just hurt that we'd never happen. It was hard for him, I think, harder than it was for me because of his past, Nikki told me when we discussed this last year that he can't just forget about his feelings because even though we didn't work the first time,he still feels like he should be with me because it's natural to want to be with the person you have feelings for.

And while I agreed with that, we still never took the jump.

Nikki cares for Brandi, but I couldn't say he loves her though I think the way he feels for her is as close as he's going to get to how he does still feel about me and being married to her over time might awaken the feelings he has for me when he looks at her, but you couldn't predict the heart.

I thought it would be easy then found out it wasn't, Nik at least found Brandi fairly quickly and they worked out, despite only really knowing each other for a few months then got engaged, was then getting married this fast kind of irresponsible? I think so, but like me, Nikki was desperate to try and find someone else if he couldn't have me.

I just couldn't seem to find someone who I could even substitute for Nikki, and it was frustrating, though I'll keep trying, given I'm going to have to watch Nik marry and eventually probably start a family with Brandi, I had to prepare myself for that and being with someone else would help.