Robin And The Girl With The Crimson Hair

chapter 44

"Are you nervous?" I asked him. Trying my best to break the quiet.

He looked at me through his hooded eyes and nodded. "There are many things that can go wrong, and I don't want to loose anyone." He eyes seemed to glisten once he said that last part.

"We know the plan well enough. And we drilled it into our heads so much that I doubt we'll be able to forget it." I said, mostly to convince myself, because I was just as nervous as he was. My eyes began to frantically look all over the carriage. I was looking around as if I could find something different.

"Mary, come here." He said.

I looked back him to find him his legs spread and his arms reaching out for me. I looked at him in shock.

"What?" I didn't expect him to do this in a middle of a mission.

"Come here." He said

I began to move toward him. I sat dow between his legs, my back to his front. He wrapped his arms around me and dipped his head in my neck. "Let's stay like this til we hear the knocks."

I nodded. I didn't know what to do. So I just gave in. I relaxed into him.

We stayed like that for a bit. He would breathe in my scent. I never in a million years thought he would be this affectionate toward me. "Why now, Robin?" I said. Surprising myself and him.

He froze.

"You rejected me, quiet harshly, might I add. And you haven't shown much interest in me in that way up until a few days ago." I said. I was scared of his reactions so I tightened my hold on his arms.

"When we couldn't find you that day, my heart was in my stomach. I had thought you left us. Then when we found you, I honestly would've preferred to believe my previous thought. But when I went to Friars, I was terrified. When he told me you were attacked, I immediately thought the worse. My heart shattered. It was like someone had taken all the air out of my lungs. I thought you died and after everything I said I wanted to take it all back. The last words I said to you would've been "I'm sorry I didn't mean it that way" , he scoffed at himself.

"I couldn't bear being in a world where our last conversation was harsh and full of pain and unsaid words. Then he told me you were alive, but barely. I grasped on to that barely like it was the last bit of water I had in a dry dessert. I knew everyone was mad at me and I knew you didn't want to see me, but my heart soared with so much joy knowing that you were okay. After I realized how much I truly cherished you, it made me think about it my feelings for you. And I knew then what I felt wasn't the same feelings I had for you before. I sense something was different between us awhile ago but it didn't hit me completely til that day. And I wanted to talk to about it but I never had the time. And with knowing you were leaving soon, if I couldn't say the words I wanted to at least show you how much you mean to me. Last night I should've told you but I didn't want ruin the moment. I love you too, Marian. And I'm so sorry, for everything." His words seemed jumbled and unpracticed, sincere and filled with conviction.

My eyes began to burn, and my head began to spin. I had many mixed emotions. Happiness at the fact that my feeling were being reciprocated by the only man I ever loved. Sad because of course he had to wait til I was about to leave for him to say something. And confused by his I'm sorry, because it sounded like he was saying sorry for more than what he told me. He was hiding something else, but what?

I pushed that last thought to the side. It probably just my doubt and paranoia being dumb again. I just went back to the first parts and turned to him with a sad smile.

His face was filled with sadness and hope. His hand reached for my cheek and wiped something away. I was crying.

He pulled me in for a kiss. It was a soft and sweet kiss. Filled with all the unsaid words between us. The I love yous that could've been. His hand cupped my face gently and his arm tightened around my waist.

The two knocks on the carriage had us coming back to reality. We pulled away from the kiss panting. He kissed my forehead and I kissed his.

"Shall we?" He asked. He stood and pulled me up with him. As we stood we struggled to keep our balance. He reached for the large empty bag and we began to move further into the carriage.

We stepped inside the large bag and held onto each other. We were in the back corner against the wall surrounded by sacks of apples and other fruits and veggies. We just had to stay still and quiet. And would've been easy if it weren't for Robin and his erection that was poking me relentlessly.

I giggled. "Robin...., you poking me." I whispered.

He rolled his eyes, and let out a soft huff. "I'm sorry. Just give me a minute it will go away soon." He said.

This is no the time nor place, but my impulses were always stronger than my common sense. "I could make it go away quicker."