Robin And The Girl With The Crimson Hair

chapter 40

He began to pull me down to the blanket and began to open the basket that sat in between us. He pulled out all of my favorite pastries and fruits. I could feel my eyes watering the more he pulled things out.

"Oh, Robin! This is lovely." I said. I don't think I've never used that word but I could use any other.

His hand wiped away a tear that escaped. I couldn't help it. "I'm happy you like it. The boys and I traded some of our things this morning so we could get some of this stuff and of course, May helped with some of the pastries." He said with a smile.

He grabbed one of the braided pastries and held it to my lips. "Try it." He said.

My mouth fell open immediately. I bit into the salty crust and was surprised by the blueberry filling. I moaned with joy. It was delicious. "Did May make this?" I asked and he nodded.

I grabbed the half bitten pastry and swallowed it hole. Though the taste was heavenly, my mouth was slightly dry. Almost as if he was reading my mind he grabbed the two cups in one hand and poured a red drink into both cups. He handed me a cup.

I brought the cup to my lips and the taste was imaginable. It tasted like chocolate and strawberries with a bit of ale.

"It's a concoctions Jamie's been working on. I wasn't sure if you'd like it or not, so I too a bit of a gamble." He watched me cautiously.

I have him a reassuring smile. "It taste amazing."

He seemed to relax at that. "I'll let Jamie know you liked it."

I nodded. I looked around at the set up and my heart began to swell all over again. This was so beautiful. He put in a lot of thought and time into this.

And he only did it cause I'm leaving.

The thought nearly made me cry. This doesn't mean anything to him. This is just his goodbye. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Do you remember the day we came across this place?" Robin asked.

My eyes left the cup I was staring into and met his gaze. God those beautiful eyes always made me melt. I nodded, me and Will had gotten into an argument, and he had said some not so kind words. So i got so angry I tried to fight him, but I was not capable of defending myself the way I could now, so I basically got my ass handed to him. And instead of facing the my defeat, I ran.

I ran but not far. I was too scared to be in the forest by myself, and that's when I came across the opening. It was quiet. Peaceful. I instantly fell in love.

"You gave me the biggest heart attack that day. I had thought you left, or got lost, or....worse....," he paused, "....i thought you were taken." His eyes never left mine as he spoke. I have seen his eyes filled with an unfamiliar emotion. I am usually able to read those eyes easily but not this time.

"When I finally found you, my heart was at ease. You seemed so happy. At peace. Like you were finally free from your pain and torment. Free from whatever haunted your nights. I watched you for hours, I was so mesmerized by that smile and I didn't want to ruin it. So I just stayed quiet." He said with a warm smile. His eyes began to search mine and I finally understood what his eyes were saying. They were begging me.

Begging me to listen. Begging me to understand.

He took the cup of alcohol out of my hand and put it to the side. He began to move closer to the point that our knees were touching and he of my hands in his.

I looked down at our intertwined hands. He was shaking a little. Is he nervous?

"Marian." He called to me softly.

I looked up at him and I could see the begging in his eyes turn to pleading. "I have always wanted to make feel the way you felt in the opening. I wanted to make a place where you feel at peace and happy. That's all I wanted. To make you home where you didn't worry. That's all I want for you." He said. His small smile he had began to falter as he took a breath and his eyes moved down to our hands.

"And it kills me to think that I haven't given you that....." He says so low that I almost couldn't hear it, but I did and my heart clenched.

"Robin, that's not true. I am very happy here." I said honestly.

His eyes looked up into mine, with a question in his eyes. 'Then why are you leaving?'

And it broke me that I couldn't answer. When he realized I wouldn't say anything his eyes downcasted and his grip on my hands got tighter, like he was holding onto dear life.

"Robin...." I called to him. When he looked up, he had the same pleading look in his eyes. But he was asking for something else, and I wasn't sure what it was. What should I do? He seems so vulnerable tight now. I should comfort him, right. I pulled a hand from his and reached up and grabbed his face and began to rub my thumb on his cheek. He leaned in to my hand and closed his eyes.

The action caught me by surprise. Then what May said popped in my head. If she had one last day with her lover said she would hold her beloved and try to memorize everything about him. Hold him, touch him, kiss him.....kiss him?

......should i?

No. I shouldn't. He already rejected me, quite harshly might I add.

His eyes opened and he locked onto my gaze. He bang to search my face and look of understanding began to form on his face.

"You can." He said.

I looked at him confused, he took the hand that was till in his and brought it his lips. He didn't kiss it he just laid my hands on top his lips.

"You can kiss me." He said....his voice came out soft. And I almost fell for it.

Though I would love to kiss him, everything he's doing is out of pity, is it not? I don't want pity....I never did. I slid my hands from his face, he quickly caught them and held them tight.

"Marian?"

"I don't want you to kiss me out of pity." I said honestly.

His face dropped. Void of any emotion. He seemed to be processing what I said. He seemed to be searching for the right thing to say.

"The only thing I have done for pity is bring you with me. But everything after that was out of love. I may not love you the way you love me but I do love you. Tonight, I am yours in anyway you want me. I will submit to you completely. What ever you want to do, I will do with no complaint. I want this. So, if you want to kiss me," he put my hands in the positions they were before I moved them. One on his cheek and the other on his lips, ",then kiss me."