Devilicious Psychopath | Patrick Bateman | 18+

Dazed and Confused

I closed my eyes becoming extremely tired and sensitive. Patrick kissed the top of my head holding onto me. His hands roamed my soft curves with caresses, the feeling lulled me back to sleep.
~•~•~•~•~

"Y/n!" Brandon screamed at the top of his lungs. Brandon?

"Help me!" Throughout the darkness his voice pleaded for my help. Not being able to see anything I just walked with my arms out in front of me. Then suddenly I bumped into someone, yelping I looked up to see a panicked and bloody Brandon.

"Brandon." I gasps my hand reached to cover my mouth seeing his brutal injuries. He was drenched in blood, a pain filled expression laced his features.

"Why?" He began to sob, his hands grabbing my arms with a lot of force, shaking me roughly.

"You could have saved me, why didn't you?" He cried, now dark crimson blood spilled from his mouth gushing out. I cried overwhelmed with emotions, I did I tried. I tried my best to ignore the amount of blood.

"It's going to happen again isn't it?" His eyes flooded with fear as he stared straight into my eyes.

"What's going to happen again?" I asked confused as ever.

"Why didn't you help me, you did this to me!" He yelled in my face, his voice now laced with anger. I closed my eyes my body now shaking at what was going on.

"I tried!" I screamed trying to push him off me.

I jolted awake, shaken from yet another nightmare. I looked around to see Patrick still fast asleep beside me. With a heavy sigh I got out of bed and quietly left the room. Now in broad daylight I could see the details of the house.

I walked around taking in the house for what it is. It's a very nice house but I still don't know where we are. Walking down the steps and reaching the bottom I looked over where I remembered Patrick was past out on the floor. It was clean of the big pool of blood, no glass.

Taking a deep breathe I tried to distract my mind and walked around taking in the interior of the house. Then I came across a door leading to what seemed to be the back yard.

My mind not being happy about images of the nightmare kept flashing through my head. Further settling an uncomfortable feeling of guilt in my chest. I walked outside to see miles and miles of green grass.

Stepping out into the morning sun I closed my eyes and stood there to let the sun's rays caress my body. I opened my eyes to see the blue sky with white fluffy clouds.

I don't like feeling like this. Will this feeling ever go away? I can't say that it will anytime soon, he's gone and it's because of me. I don't want to live with that guilt for the rest of my life.

My mind was racing thinking if there was anything else I could have done. Maybe gotten in front of the gun, Patrick wouldn't have pulled the trigger, or would he?

Then my brain took a detour and started thinking about what Patrick did with his body. Where was Brandon laid to rest, I had a feeling I didn't want to know. What I know for sure is that I need help, professional help. But I can't get that either, I can't tell another soul. It's going to have to weigh down on my shoulders until I don't feel it anymore. Until I go numb.

What am I going to do? I feel so hopelessly trapped in my mind. I can't run, I can't go to anyone for help, I'm just going to have to wallow it all inside. I'll go insane. My knees becoming weak I laid down on the soft green grass.

I closed my eyes to become one with nature, shut off all my thoughts and try to feel nothing. I don't know how long that lasted before I felt tears burning to escape between my lashes. I cried, I don't know what else to do but to cry. Do nothing more than to feel my emotions fully.