✨ Oneshots ✨

Be True To Your School - Ineffable Husbands (platonic)

My second time writing an Ineffable Husbands oneshot.. This idea came to me randomly. Hopefully it's not too cringey.

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Quite an unusual decision, but currently, in this universe, Crowley and Aziraphale were Year 1 teachers. Substitutes, actually.

A demon as a Year 1 teacher? Not everybody's choice.. But these aren't typical kids, and he had a soft side he'd never, ever admit.

"Are we ready for this, you think? I've never really been a teacher for such small children.." The angel wonders.

"Eh, you'll be fine. We did just fine before." said the demon.

The doors opened and a bunch of 5-year-olds ran in. They were chattering happily.

"Uh, children..?" Aziraphale starts to say. The kids all continue talking.

"Hey! Settle down!" Crowley hissed, immediately getting silence. 

"There we are," he pats one kid's head like he would a dog. 

"Now, I'm Mr. Crowley, and this is my friend, Mr. Fell. Any questions? No? Good."

-

The kids looked like they were paying attention. A few of them were a bit frightened. Scared to upset the red-haired teacher. Who wore sunglasses the whole time, for some reason..

"Look, if everyone behaves, things should work out all right. Listen to us, please." Aziraphale tells them.

"Um, what's—" a kid speaks hesitantly, pointing at a cage for the class pet. "—that?" 

"First off, raise your hand before speaking, my boy. Second, that's the class pet. It's a harmless, adorable little snake." The angel replies.

"It's not adorable, it's vicious." Crowley interrupts, then sees the kids' fear. "But harmless."

The kids introduced themselves to the teachers, who probably won't remember all their names..

-

"All right, I think it's time to start learning. Maybe we'll start with some prestidigitation?"

A small girl raised her hand, "Mr. Fell?"

 "Yes, dear?" He smiles.

"My Mummy says not to believe magic." 

"Well, someone knows their big words!"

"Believe me, he's not good at it," Crowley adds.

Aziraphale was puzzled for a moment on what to teach them; pity, really, he thought they'd want to learn the art of slight of hand. Then, he decided, they'd practise letters. 

--

"Who here can tell me a word that starts with 'B'?" Aziraphale asks with cheerfulness.

A boy named Samuel raised his little hand, "Blackbird?" 

"A better word would be Bentley." Crowley corrects.

Another kid had something to say, "I know what comes next. Crowley  starts with 'C'!" 

Crowley seemed slightly bored. "Yes, it does, doesn't it."

"Bentley. What's a Bentley?" Samuel asks.

"Okay! let's move onto something else!" The angel announces.

--

"Arts and crafts. I'm sure you've all done this. Draw whatever you want." Crowley handed paper and crayons to the kids sitting at the tables, then went back over to stand with his friend.