Austeled one-shots

Laughter.

(I'd like to clarify this is a shitpost. No angst. No fluff. No smut. Just stupid shit. My writing is better then this I swear 😭)

Context: they're besties. (It's 2006. They're coworkers. Y'all know the jist.)
3rd person:

Henry and Austin had just finished work, and were heading out for the day. Austin sighed loudly, chugging the rest of his coffee and throwing the reusable cup in the trash.

"Fucking finally. My limbs feel like they're about to fall off cause they're so stiff." He chuckled, cracking his knuckles.

"Mmh. Same here." Henry agreed. They chatted together for a bit, until they reached the pavement.

"Wait, I have a question." Austin inquired suddenly.
"Shoot." Henry replied.
"Where are you all day? Occasionally I'll check your desk, and half the time you're not even there." He asked.

"Oh, I'm usually just chilling in the bathroom. I hate the sound of all the chatter in the background, so I leave for a bit to chill." He explained (-leaving out the mental breakdown parts-).

"Yeah, you sure that's the only thing you're doing in there~?" He asked with a smirk.

"What are you trying to imply?" Henry raised an eyebrow, already knowing but wanting an explanation anyhow.

"You fucking know what I mean." He laughed. "You spend ages at a time alone in the bathroom! Don't lie to me and say you don't occasionally "blow off some steam"!"

Henry raised an eyebrow, trying to tease Austin into saying exactly what he meant.

"You know what I mean you fucking prude!" He playfully punched Henry in the shoulder.

"Well you could be talking about many things. For one, you could be implying that I take a fat steamy shit for two hours straight."

The joke caught Austin so fucking off guard he started laughing his ass off.

"Like- be specific short ass!" He instructed. Austin was laughing so hard he couldn't even form a response. Henry watched the other in amusement.

"Motherfucker, it wasn't even that funny??" He giggled. But the fucker was so immature that he was still bloody laughing.

Completely out of the blue, Austin let out a fatass snort. He immediately slapped I hand over his mouth and nose. Now it was Henry's turn to laugh.

"Did, hah- did you just snort??" He laughed.
"Shut the fuck up." His voice was muffled from his hand, but you could still hear the embarrassment in his voice.

"Oh my Christ-" Henry laughed for a hot minute at the loud ass snort his coworker had just made.

"Shut up-!!" Austin whined, covering his face with his hand. After a moment Henry's laughing became small giggles.

"I didn't-" He was interrupted by a small giggle. "I didn't think you of all people would snort-"
"That's the last time I laugh around your dumbass." He sighed.

"No, no-! I won't-" He had to physically cover his mouth to stop himself from laughing. "I'll stop I swear. Just-" He sighed, trying to stop another laugh. "Let- let me get it out of my system."

"Fine, whatever." Austin groaned. Henry let out a few more giggles before letting out a final sigh.
"You done now?" Austin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm done." He replied with a stupid smile.
"This is what I get for befriending the work weirdo." He whispered to himself.

"Ayo, bitch! I heard that!" He playfully flicked the back of Austin's head. "And I'll have you know I am lovely."

"You're a bitch."
"A lovely bitch!"
"Still a bitch."

"Close enough." Henry commented. "You wanna go grab some coffee? I'll pay."
"I mean, I do like to be wined and dined after I've been FUCKED. So sure." He remarked, following just behind Henry.

(I KNOW THAT EPISODE OF SOUTH PARK THAT REFERENCE IS FORM WAS MADE IN 2011 SHUT UP)

I got halfway through writing this and then I realised that they're full grown adults and aren't as immature as me but oh well