Pulling streams of toilet paper from their roll, Rainbow wiped her eyes and tried to mute her sniffles. She knew that despite it hurting, she couldn't stay in the stall all day and had to show AJ she didn't care, even though that would be a lie. She shouldn't have just assumed they were getting back together after that, but nothing justifies her jerky actions, playing with both hers and Rarity's feelings like that. Going through processes in her mind, she finally accepted that she couldn't hold on to something that was not there and she should just move on the way she was supposed to months ago.
Taking deep breaths to stabilise her pulse and slow her tears, allowing the inflamed red eyes to reset, she left the stall and threw her tear-stained tissue in the bin. As she turned on the tap to wash her hands, a clearer more confident mind grew upon her. However, it's development shattered as AJ entered the bathroom. Passing through the doorway and letting it close slowly behind her, she walked over to Rainbow who was ignoring her, drying her hands on paper towels.
"Dash?"
Rainbow continued to ignore her and looked in the mirror at herself, making sure any evidence of her upset was gone, lightly touching her under eyes to feel if there was any puffiness. Deciding it was good enough and really wanting to get out of the bathroom, not wanting to be alone with AJ, she turned and tried to walk around her, towards the exit. But as she circled around the girl, she was lagged by her wrist that Applejack had wrapped a hand around, pulling her away from escape.
"Rainbow please, let me explain." AJ pleaded. She knew what she did was wrong and there was no way she could take back what she did, there are no excuses or reasons why she shouldn't feel guilty, but Dash should still know the truth.
"What is there to explain AJ? It doesn't matter, I'm happy you and Rarity have something together, we weren't going to be anything anyway." Rainbow replied, not turning to look in her direction, head down and angled at the door.
"Rarity and I didn't...do it." Applejack tried to explain knowing it didn't really matter and the damage had already been done.
"Well, Rarity sure thought so." Rainbow shot back, the aching returning to her chest with her trying her best to push it down.
"...we did kiss a bit, but we didn't follow through with the whole thing Dash."
"I'm sure you would've loved to...if you're even telling the truth."
"Rainbow I couldn't do it."
"That's bullshit AJ, if you found it so easy to make out with me and play me the next day, it doesn't seem like you have much resistance."
"Dash I couldn't do it because of you! Because I...because I like you! But...I also feel something for Rarity, and things are just so confusing and I hate it. I don't know what to do or how to balance things. You mean so much to me Dash and I'm so sorry I hurt you because I wasn't thinking and was being selfish. I really do care about you and I don't want to lose you. I'm so so sorry, unbelievably sorry, please let me make this right."
The air was silent and neither girl spoke as Applejack's confession lay upon them and hovered like a cloud of smoke. Rainbow liked AJ too, that's why it hurt when she heard about what happened last night, and she would do anything to be with her again and make her feel the way she used to when they were together. Happy. But not this time, she has to protect herself.
"If I'm not your first choice AJ, choose her, I don't want to be an option, I deserve to be someone's one and only. Clearly, I can't be that for you." She defended, her heart breaking knowing she was shutting down the emotions that had grown in her psyche after they broke up, hoping they'd get back together.
"Dash you are my first choice, I really really like you, and I don't want to throw away what we had, or what we could have. It's us Rainbow. I want it to be us."
Rainbow turned around until they were face to face, not realising AJ had gotten closer to her as their conversation went on. Forcing her wrist from AJ's grasp, she moved closer to deliver her final punch.
"There is no us Applejack. There is no you and me. After this, there will never, be an us. I won't let you hurt me again, and I am fine, without you."
Applejack was silent as she took the stab in, her breath hitching with even more regret and pain flowing through her than before as the harsh reality of her stupid actions hit her like a brick.
Dash continued, "So I hope you and Rarity will be very happy together, and to protect her feelings, I hope she never finds out about what we did...the hope you made me feel, the night before you and her kissed. And for the sake of our friend group, we can still be friends, because I'm loyal and I care about them, but that doesn't mean we'll ever be the same again. Got it?"
Standing up for herself and forcing the confidence she expressed daily against her vulnerability marked the full stop at the end of their chapter. As she watched AJ nod slowly, her point made, she whisked around to finally leave, and let the door slam behind her. As a new freedom rained upon her, a slight itching of contrition left the feeling translucent. Applejack was left in the bathroom, the air suddenly feeling thicker than before. She hated herself for the way she made Rainbow feel because she really cared about her, beating herself up for not being the bare minimum of a decent person. The only way she could think of making any of this remotely okay is not playing Rarity the way she did Rainbow. She didn't want to be the cause of someone else feeling this way because if her pain was any inkling of how Rainbow felt, she didn't want to ruin a relationship with someone else she also cared about. Dreading the idea of going to their friend's lunch table with an irritated Rainbow awaiting, she knew she'd have to show up...and Rarity was probably waiting for her. Hoping Dash had gotten a bit further down the hall and was far away from her, she opened the door and exited the bathroom.
Dash inhaled the hallway air to reset her chaotic mind, she made her way back to the cafeteria hoping her friends had changed the topic and were no longer indulged in Rarity's love life. But as she loomed closer, she could see that a green fog had gathered near the entrance of the door. A sudden caution rose in her and her steps became slower as she approached the dining area, taking a distanced peak inside the lunchroom.
The area was fogged with some form of green gas. 'What the heck?'
YOU ARE READING
An Inconvenient Attachment // Appledash
Fanfiction(NSFW!) What was Rainbow Dash's and Applejack's conversation on the field? What happened in their shared tent at Camp Everfree? What was the real reason they stopped being friends? Basically, this story is Appledash throughout Equestria Girls linked...
